Insert your “Banana” joke here_____________________.

So Megan Fox recently revealed in an interview with Nylon magazine that she wasn’t always a man – eating, motorcycle straddling, poor man’s Angelina.

“I only had one job growing up. I worked at a smoothie cafe,”I used to have to dress up as a banana.”

“I had the option of apple or banana,” Fox goes on. “I always went with banana because it was thinner”

Ha! I like it. AND I like her.

I really do think that she’s MISUNDERSTOOD. Could be because she looks sexy and exotic, but why hide the pretty?

You look how you look. Don’t tell me that the 39 year old, overweight, bitter woman scrolling through celebrity sites leaving negative comments about good looking women wouldn’t jump outta that chair at the chance of showing off the CLEAVE to prance around in MAXIM if she ever had the ability to do so.

That’s what I don’t QUITE understand about people. They’re so QUICK to judge in order to make themselves look SUPERIOR in some way. It’s like a “get RICH quick” phenomenon. Bring someone down in order to RAISE your own SELF ESTEEM or lack thereof.

Sigh.

 

 

 

 

One of these things is not like the other…

Yeah because Rihanna is exotic and exudes FIERCENESS while Justin Timberlake is whiter than me trying to be white.

(That’s kind of an INSIDE joke but I thought I’d throw it out there.)

Really STAR magazine? Really?

Oh wait. This is VALID news. It’s coming from STAR.

According to the REPUTABLE sources at STAR, Ri Ri started hitting Justin up @ the VMAs & that she wanted to know if him and gf Jessica Biel were still together. After hinting so they’ve been “sexting texting” ever since.

I don’t see it.

Picture of the Day

 

Yeah. I’m thinking what YOU’RE thinking.

Anyone suddenly have a craving for Dark Chocolate?

Peter Andre (Katie Price AKA Jordan’s EX) claims he doesn’t NEED anything touching his lips other than CHOCOLATE.

I’ve actually ONLY heard that come out of a FEMALE’S mouth. Never heard a GUY say “Dude, fu*k women, pass me a Herseys.

 

He tells OK! Magazine:

“I’ve replaced it, I’ve got my chocolate, which the fans keep on bringing me. I’m living on it!”

I can almost 110% ASSURE Peter Andre that if I was ever close enough to get to him, I’d bring more than CHOCOLATE.

 

Rawr.

This show is FU*KING HILARIOUS. I enjoy the fact that it’s so HONEST & Courtney Cox does an EXCELLENT job in making the viewer relate to the sh*t she’s going through.

She plays a recently divorced SINGLE mom who represses her “feelings” and is just discovering what other WOMEN her age have been delving in.

It’s sharp. It’s vulgar. And its entertainment watching old bi*ches makeout with kids their son’s age.

Ha!

I mean, I’m no 36 year old COUGAR but them bi*ches must LOVE this sh*t.

Check out COURTNEY COX in COUGARTOWN:

It’s on Wednesdays on ABC.

 

Look, just don’t TASTE.

Oh FREAKING snap.

Kristin Cavallari BLATANTLY revealed recently that playboy Brody Jenner was “very vanilla” in BED.

Sh*t. This guy’s YEARS of hard WORK have been SHUT DOWN.

She kept on LOW BALLING him by claiming that “We just…didn’t really do anything out of the box.”

Ok. This doesn't seem all that "vanilla" to me. But I guess I'm a prude. Ha!

Wonder what BRODY’S current girlfriend Jayde Nicole has to say about his escapades?

Find out next week, on The Hills.

 

They love that Canadian Bacon…

Wow.  You KNOW you’re a WASHED UP D Lister when you brush off a COMEBACK on 90210 for a CANADIAN gig.

(Jokes, jokes)

Jason Priestly has just LANDED  a role on a Canadian show titled “Meet Phil Fitz.” He plays a used CAR salesman whose having his SLEAZE challenged by a goody goody salesman (whose his alter ego.)

WTF? I’m CONFUSED just trying to make sense of that. I’m gonna LOSE my MIND while watching it.

Great career move buddy.

Material Girl.

Here a couple GOODIES that I’ve come across that I NEEDED to share with ya’ll.

Put away those PENNIES and SPLURGE on this instead:

Elizabeth & James Cocoon Shrug $525

Camilla & Marc Charity dress $470

Free People Poison Apple Holiday dress $105

Blue Life Departure T shirt $71

291 Feather Sweatpants $147

David Lerner Tye Dye Leggings $99

Love YaYa Waif dress $187

12th Street by Cynthia Vincent Slouch Ankle Pants $196

Shashi Double Row Crystal & Leather bracelet $95

ADAM Long Sleeve Cardigan $495

Kenneth Jay Lane Bird ring $106

Alice & Olivia Fringe Trim Vest $330

Tory Burch Flat Shearling Boots $295

Juicy Couture Buffalo Check Trapper Hat $95

DANNIJO Evie Cuff $260

Marc Jacobs Eugenie Snakeskin Embossed Leather Clutch $450

Burberry Wool Trench Capelet $895

Giuseppe Zanotti Grommet Ballet Flats $551

Giuseppe Zanotti Leather Stud Fringe Sandals $775

Sass & Bide Did It For The Club Jeans $220

BE & D Garbo Tote $1,490

 

 

That little Focker…

How is Jessica Alba supposed to ADD humor to anything let alone my FAV movie series? Bi*ch is about as HILARIOUS as lung cancer.  Ugh. Bad move.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Jessica is in talks to star in the 3rd installment of the Focker Franchise.

If this indeed unfortunately TRUE, she’ll be playing the ROLE as an attractive pharmacutical rep that causes a stir between the Focker men.

Hmm. Hopefully she OVERDOSES in the first few SCENES.

(Joking.)

Jesus wants me to have a bigger RACK.

Spencer Pratt’s 2nd but MOST definitely NOT smarter half opens WIDE and let’s it all come out in UK’s Closer magazine in a recent HUGELY unnecessary INTERVIEW.

Here ARE some GIGGLE worthy highlights:

On her PLAYBOY spread:

“I wasn’t nervous because I’d got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn’t want to lose weight and look skinny.”

On her FAKE tittays:

“I’m a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape.”

On her FIRST “live” PERFORMANCE:

“I just ignore it. I know my skills and talent. I’d never performed in front of so many people, let alone a billion watching me on TV. Afterwards there was a lot of negativity on the internet, but I deal with it. It happens to everyone like me and I can only do my best and feel happy.”

I think she needs to UPSIZE her Brain, not the Boobs.

Remember her?