UnbeWEAVEable.

So someone ended up telling Britney Spears that that stench following her around wasn’t Jayden James’ diaper that needed changing, it was more her ratty hairdo.

She had her people call in to the Nine Zero One (in her case, Ground Zero) Salon ahead of time to have people cleared out of the building for what was about to go down.

The process of removing chicken bones, her kids’ toy trucks, and Kevin Federline’s rap career took about 9 hours or so, which is protocal for this type of transformation of course…

And behold,

Let’s give the folks at Nine Zero One a round of applause for making Starbucks frapps easier for us to digest now.

Let’s just hope ses uses a ponytail holder the next time she facedives into a bowl of fried chicken.

alrighty then.

Jim Carey’s 22 year old daughter popped out a lil sucker she named Jackson Riley Santana.

I didn’t even know the guy had a daughter. Apparently she’s in a band called The Jane Carey Band (so original) and married some dude called Nitro in a band called Blood Money.

I feel like I’m writing about an upcoming concert and not the welcoming of a baby.

Anyways, I just can’t get over the fact that Jenny McCarthy is a freaking Grandma.

I’ll bet you she’s just happy she won’t have to pop out anymore of her own, no way she wants her vag to stretch out like Jim Carey’s face in The Mask.

 

 

NAACP Image Awards.

The BIG winner of the night at the NAACP Image Awards was undeniably Precious. That Gabourey Sidibe is so cute and totally deserves to be in the SPOTLIGHT…

Check out the PICS from the event:

the perfect girlfriend.

Ever wonder why Reggie Bush doesn’t seem to let the RUMORS of cheating and sh*t bother him?

It works out to his advantage, because when Kim is too BUSY pimping out her various products, that really doesn’t leave her much to TEND to her man.

Whereas, Mi Yu can fit in a good head MASSAGE right after her lunch break… 

And ya’ll were hating on em…

I got no problem showing off my cellulite. Because I’m a man.

Ouch.

Somebody’s weave is about to get pulled the f*ck out.

Janice Dickinson, who NEVER has anything BAD to say about anyone recently let the little thing slip…

Via AOL, Speaking on Alan Carr’s Chatty Man, the catty woman said: “I made [America's Next Top Model] a hit. Can you imagine for five seasons just sitting next to Miss Tyra Banks and listening to her go off? You could land a helicopter on her forehead. It’s huge.”

Janice admitted she got the boot from the show after calling Tyra “fat”.

She continued: “She was huge! [Her legs] are huge. Well, she’s a big woman. I used to think she was a man, I kept looking for… I was always looking, thinking, ‘Something isn’t right here’.”

Yeah.

The only reason Janice was looking for SOMETHING was to compare it with her own.

Because there’s NOTHING off about her at ALL.

 

I can’t see her! Robert De Niro is in the way!

So these HOARDES of Paparazzi aren’t clamouring over themselves in their Crocs to get a money shot of Jennifer Aniston, or Robert Pattinson.

No folks.

They’re actually out there to get a GLIMPSE of the MEGASTAR Audrina f*cking Patridge. Who is best known for her role The Hills where she’s constantly starting conversations with the ceiling.

I get the hype.

I mean who knows!? Maybe she’ll be with her highly coveted friends like Stephanie Pratt or, oh I dunno, a plastic bag.

Because that’s how unnecessary this is.

And just to PROVE how much I don’t care about what she’s wearing that day, or where she’s shopping, or who she’s dating, here’s a couple hundred pictures that do just that.

 

Battleship!

Snooki posted a pic of herself on meeting with Wendy Williams’ huge ass chest recently…

It seems that Wendy’s taut torpedos seems to have blow Snooki’s pouff off her head.

B*tch looks like a whole ‘nother person. Her face even looks kinda cute. Her head mustve got squeezed between those things hard enough for most of her makeup to come off.

But it’s a good look.

God bless you Wendy.

picture of the day.

Michael Kors strolls around St. Barths’s with a friend. No, no, not his boyfriend, his BELLY button.

I love this guy’s stuff. But I think he might be getting a little too SERIOUS with the designing. I’m sure he had a gold plated MK logo fastened on that thing, but fell off in the water.

I’m sure of it.

a day in the life…

Oh that Bertha. What a cad.

I hardly miss an episode of Two And A Half Men, no matter how many times Charlie Sheen lands himself in the drunk tank or gets accused for beating up his girlfriend.

That guy is obviously getting what’s coming to him, but Jon Cryer? Leave him the f*ck alone. The only wrong he’s ever done is not match is pyjamas to his slippers.

So when he was CLAIMING that his carazy ex wife was trying to kill him he wasn’t f*cking around…

TMZ reports:

“According to documents filed in the custody battle between Cryer and ex-wife Sarah Trigger, Trigger’s lawyer claims on December 21, 2009, Trigger told her that her ex-boyfriend, Eddie Sanchez, had said he was going to kill Cryer and Trigger’s estranged husband, David Dickey.
Trigger’s lawyer became so alarmed she contacted lawyers for both Cryer and Dickey. On January 10, Dickey confronted Sanchez. According to legal docs, “Mr. Sanchez not only flatly denied making such a statement, but he said that it was [Sarah Trigger] who had contacted him on numerous occasions, stating that she wanted to see the pair [Cryer and Dickey] dead, and even asking Mr. Sanchez if he would kill the pair, or if he would not, inquiring whether she could speak with Mr. Sanchez’s father about this issue.”
According to Cryer’s declaration, he notified Warner Bros. security on January 15. Cryer also states his co-star requested that “we do not film in front of a live audience.” The documents do not ID the co-star but presumably it’s Charlie Sheen.”

Sh*t.

Needless to say the co star was Charlie Sheen. He was probably so f*cked up he had thought Denise Richards had finally come to get her revenge.

Now that’s a b*tch that would knife you in the gut and join the studio audience in laughing at Bertha’s sarcastic antics.