congratulations on graduating from beekeeping school.

This is what Lady Gaga wore to her younger sister’s graduation:

This poor b*tch. Not Gaga. Her sister.

After all those years of furthering her education and all that hard work, everyone takes one look at your sister and you turn into “that f*cking weird chick with the freak sister whose not sure whether to sit or stand when she pees.” 

All those accomplishements go down the sh*tter. And now people think you’re Satan.

And my sister complained about the color of lipstick I wore to her ceremony. What now b*tch?!

THIS PICTURE IS MISSING A LITTLE SOMETHING…?

This is Aisha Tyler:

 

This is Aisha Tyler at last nights Logo NewNowNext Awards:

You know that saying…”you’re so ugly you scared your eyebrows off your face,” or whatever…?

Well, I’m just sayin’.

dirrty glam.

In this case it should probably be “dirrty mouth” or “dirrty girl,” but I’m not going to pick a fight or anything.

There’s no way I’m willing to get my ass kicked by someone who could make a b*tch cry just by looking her way.

Unless MTV wants to film it and put it in the next episode. Or pitch a new reality show where Kristin Cavallari randomly goes around town making girls feel like worthless pieces of crap. Because she doesn’t do that on The Hills.

Anwyays, here’s a spread she recently did for Dirrty Glam magazine.

Brody hit approved that.

i feel ya. this happens to me all the time.

So Kanye West had his Porsche Panamera Turbo stolen while vacationing in Hawaii.

It’s $133 000, which is HUGE to all you common folk. But to me and Kayne…ain’t no thang but a chicken wang.

Via The New York Times,

“Neighbors reported hearing a “tremendous” crash and seeing three men running from the wrecked sports car.

“I walked over to see if anyone was dead or people in the car because I could smell liquids and I could hear them draining and no one was there,” said neighbor Chris Cooper.

West is in Hawaii recording a new album, but sources told AllHipHop News the rapper was traveling when the high-performance car crashed through the garage of the house early Saturday morning. Local TV stations reported West left his ride in the care of a cousin – and that it was reported stolen shortly before the wreck.”

F*cking cousin hey?

If this happened to go down in Surrey there would be no mention of any “cousin.”

Because he’d be six feet under already.

“Cousin? Now what now?”

 

snapped.

That panty chick who replaced Megan Fox in Transformers 3, Rosie whatever and boyfriend Jason Statham out for lunch in LA.

Jason Statham ain’t no Brian Austin Green. That’s for damn sure.

And I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

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katy perry has something to say.

That is if anyone even listens to Katy Perry. (Not her singing, her speaking).

If I were a dude that is. Nah, or a girl. I just wouldn’t be able to focus on listening to her with “HOLY F*CK SHE HAS HUGE T*TS!!!” screaming in my ears.

Anyways, she took to her Twitter regarding Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro.”

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Ouch Katy Perry. Them some fighting words.

Too bad all people heard were a couple of t*tties bouncing against each other.

Motorboat!

 

picture of the day.

At least she burned a couple calories dragging the chair into the lineup.

If that’s not enough reason for a extra thick milkshake on the side I don’t know what is.

my lonliness is kiiiiillllinngggg meeeee…

Britney Spears apparently thinks that she can feed and bathe herself these days. Which is why one of her bodyguards QUIT that b*tch.

Actually it’s because she forced him upon her privates but I like the former because it was funnier.

Via The Sun,

“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.
“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
The last straw came when Britney’s dad JAMIE – who is in legal control of her and can hire and fire staff – kicked off after she left her Los Angeles home without underwear.
“Jamie went mental when he saw the pictures and Fernando was made the fall guy. He was not fired but told he was to blame. He had had enough.”

Being forced to look at Britney Spears’ naked body shouldn’t be cause for change of employment. Can you imagine what Lady Gaga’s bodyguards have to go through??

“C’mere Benson. They’re starting to show again. It’s all about the way you tuck. Detail, detail, detail. What do I pay you goons for?!”

snapped.

Kristin Cavallari at the Logo Awards last night.

Big up to her stylist. If she were to dress herself she’d come in body armor with a 9mm as her statement piece.

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THIS DUDE MUST STILL LIVE WITH HIS MOTHER.

First an actual GUY takes Snooki home, now someone’s STALKING Kristen Stewart?!

What the f*ck are people smoking on these days?

Via The Chicago Sun Times,

“People close to “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart are concerned she is not taking seriously enough a stalker who has been sending disturbing letters and showing up at events — apparently even at her home. 

A longtime Hollywood honcho, who has worked with Stewart, says the young actress is telling people around her she refuses to be intimidated. “She insists that no crazy ‘will keep me from living my own life,’” said the source, who understands that point of view.

“But this isn’t like the paparazzi — who Kristen understandably hates because they are so intrusive. These people can be dangerous.”

Apparently, Stewart — along with the rest of the young “Twilight” stars, particularly Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner — are bugged by many, many “Twilight” vampire-obsessed fans. The Stewart friend refers to them as “real nuts … scary kooks. … These people are far more serious than the merely annoying paparazzi.”

Ummm if I were the perverted (and clearly mentally disturbed) guy, I’d go makeout with one of the boy mannequins at Old Navy. It’s pretty much the same thing, minus the awkward scratching.

http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9200000/Kristen-Stewart-making-weird-faces-GIF-image-critical-analysis-of-twilight-9268232-250-188.gif