so she doesn’t like snakes…?

Salma Hayek freaked out harder than a girl whose just had sex with Pauly D yesterday during an interview.

It’s quite apparent that a snake had crawled under her seat. This is usually how I react when I see a “snake” crawling under my “seat” as well. But it usually ends up with a drink thrown in its face.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/elmarburchia/salma-hayek-freak-out-when-she-spots-a-snake-7ve

I condone this reaction completely. I’m scared of rubber snakes. I don’t know what I’d do if ever put in this type of situation.

I’m guessing it would be like encountering someone with fake designer goods or something. Yeah. That’s what it would be like.

katy perry has something to say.

That is if anyone even listens to Katy Perry. (Not her singing, her speaking).

If I were a dude that is. Nah, or a girl. I just wouldn’t be able to focus on listening to her with “HOLY F*CK SHE HAS HUGE T*TS!!!” screaming in my ears.

Anyways, she took to her Twitter regarding Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro.”

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Ouch Katy Perry. Them some fighting words.

Too bad all people heard were a couple of t*tties bouncing against each other.

Motorboat!

 

this can’t happen.

Apparently Kimmy K is rumored to be replacing Angelina Jolie in the Tomb Raider franchise….

This is not possible for 2 reasons:

1. Kim does not like streneous exercise. With all the exaggerated movement required how will they be able to find a stunt double with an ass like that? Not happening.

2. Kim gets her nails done on a daily basis. Angelina Jolie probably donated her nails to kids who don’t have any on their fingers at all. Lara Croft eats nails for breakfast. Kim will have nothing of the sort.

Via ShowBizSpy,

“According to Hollywood insiders, the curvy reality TV star is in the middle of negotiations to play video game beauty Lara Croft in a reboot of the film series.

“This will be something very different to Angelina’s Lara,” a source said. “Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.”

Kim, 29, has previously spoken of her desire to break into acting.

“I would love to do more acting,” she said in December last year. “I have so much going on but acting is definitely exciting to me. I’m hoping to do more TV and I would really love to make movies.”

Oh Kim. You’d shoot a commercial for The King of Floors if it got you TV time.

And I love you for it.

big.booty.b*tches.

Where there ever comes a time that you feel empty inside, or when you feel like life just isn’t cutting it for you anymore…you come across something like THIS.

Something that makes you forget about your sh*tty job, the fact that you’re 10 lbs overweight, and also that you should feel complete and utter embarassment for even watching such a THING.

Behold.

Big. Booty. B*tches.

I woke up this morning tired and grumpy, as if I got no sleep last night.

Did I complain?

No because I took my iPhone to breakfast and watched this sh*t on repeat.

I can now say that I’m a morning person.

 

 

 

 

if.we.ever.meet.again.

Check out the NEW video by Timbaland & Katy Perry for, “If We Ever Meet Again…”

 

so bitter.

Check out the CLIP of Ludacris & Nicki Minaj performing in Mexico last week  for Spring Break 2010.

Barbie paid homage to Lady Gaga while Ludacris paid homage to every other rapper to wake up in a pile of random thongs the morning after…

Again, I’m so f*cking bitter.

I did not have sexual relations…

Ha.

Tiger Woods put on a shirt and pants (thankfully) and actually made it to the PRESS conference he put on this morning to apologize for REALLY thinking  he was supposed to JUST DO IT.

Of course the ONE woman he didn’t stick it into was there to show her SUPPORT…

Tiger’s Mom told ESPN, “I said, ‘I’m so proud of you. Never think you stand alone. Mom will always be there for you and I love you.”

Hey mama doesn’t wanna risk wearing clothes from Ross now does she?

This guy put as much EMOTION into this sh*t as I do when my Dad tries to explain to me the inner mechanics of a thermometer.

So Elin never HIT him. B*tch didn’t lift a damn finger.

I love it.

Props to him for not looking up into the RAFTERS in fear where she was stealthily passing a 9 iron from hand to hand.

Ellen gets Rude.

Rihanna performed her NEW single, “Rude Boy” on Ellen yesterday…

B*tch worked it, but I half expected her to come out in an Afro weave and a thong.

Check out the VIDEO.

we.are.the.world.

Simon Cowell’s, “We Are The World” debuted this weekend, and besides the fact that it’s for a GOOD cause, hearing Lil Wayne attempt some Celine Dion type sh*t kinda leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Ch-ch-check it out:

Nicole Sherzinger is just real GLAD to finally have some sort of GIG that doesn’t require her to wear a THONG.

 

WHORE-der.

So Lindsay LOLohan sat down with the Insider’s Niecy Nash to confirm to the world what we already knew.

She sh*ts where she sleeps.

Ok ok, it’s not that bad since instead of pizza boxes and dirty kleenex, it’s Guitar Hero and expensive clothing, but because it’s Lindsay there’s bound to be balls of ratted weave or blood stained love notes somewhere underneath her clutter.

Anyways, Nash, who also stars on Clean House, is helping LOLohan clean her sh*t up. Don’t know if that extends to her life in general, but it’s a shot.

At least the poor thing got some air time. It’s the FIRST since, well, her hidden sex tape.