But, but, but, my mascara hindered the ability to jump!

So USA took GOLD in Men’s Figure Skating. Evan Lysacek (whom I’ve nickname Crow for obvious reasons) teased the sh*t out of REIGNING Olympian, Evgeni Plushenko, who might I add was looking quite PLUSH thinking he was going to score 1st as per usual.

Considering the SHOTS they got of him during the medal ceremony made it look like he was ready to light that b*tch up on fire, I’m guessing he’s a bit of a SORE loser.

He even took it to the Streets by saying, “It’s not men’s figure skating. Now, it’s dancing.”

I’m serious. Which frightens you more?

Tall, medalcrazy Russian with sharp blades and a need for vengeance or some thug with a baseball bat?

I’d say the answer speaks for itself.

Anyways, the FOCUS was on Lady Gaga Johnny Weir anyways. What was he going to wear? Who did his makeup? Does he just naturally do triple axles when walking down the street in the height of Summer?

Unfortunately, the glittery force field that surrounds him was NOT able to disguise his prancing and twirling as what the judged wanted to see – more complicated jumps, she he put on a FABOLOUS show, and ran off to have his tears wiped by his coach who was vyying a GOLD based off of how pretty she’d made him look.

I say Johnny should have won. I would have liked NOTHING more than to see him sh*t out a RAINBOW in sheer happiness.

On a side note, I’d love to get the number of the place that 3rd place, Daisuke Takahashi gets his EYEBROWS done.

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