hell hath frozen over.

Did anyone hear that RUMBLING in the skies this morning?

If you did, it wasn’t the sinking feeling you usually get when you wake up and realize that dream of you being Channing Tatum’s underwear washer was indeed a dream.

Anyways, it was Kim Kardashian who STARTLED the Gods of Media at the break of dawn. It was a goddamn PHENOMENON.

Her and her SISTERS are sh*tting out silicone from their asses because of the FALSE stories InTouch and Star magazine have reported of them being UNHAPPY in their relationships.

Via Kimmy’s blog,

“OMG! Have you guys seen the front pages of In Touch and Star today!? I can’t believe they would make up this crap! Where do they get this stuff? Divorced, dumped and duped… I appreciate the alliteration guys, but seriously!? My sisters and I have never been happier. I swear, the minute anything positive happens in our lives, the media tries to bring us down. I want you guys to know that these stories are completely fabricated. Buy Life and Style this week- that story about Khloe and lamar is true!

I want you guys to know  these stories are completely fabricated. Kourtney is not haunted by Scott’s past and Khloe and Lamar are not having problems, in fact he’s flying to Miami to be with her and, to be honest, Reggie and I have never been happier. I am in no rush to get married nor do I need to get married to be happy in my relationship. Reggie and I are perfectly fine!

The press will do anything to sell copies… do NOT believe a word and do NOT buy Star or In Touch this week. Know that I will always keep you updated HERE on my site. I am so happy I have my blog… I never want you guys to rely on fabricated media stories and I’ll always let you know the truth when stuff like this happens. I don’t want you guys to be mislead by false stories, so know that you can always come here to my blog to get the truth. So Kourtney, Khloe and I urge you all to NOT buy these magazines this week.”

That Kim. After consulting with her mother, she is well AWARE that this recent outburst of hers is bound to get her on at least 6 other magazines.

What she isn’t AWARE of is that right before she walked into her mother’s den, the scene was CHAOTIC, with a flurry of deleted calls to InTouch, shredded Star documents, and hurried glances towards the door.

Kris needs to find a way to pay for Bruce’s facelifts somehow.

Just Sayin’


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March 2010
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