06
Apr
10

she’s single…again.

So Audrina Patridge just SPLIT from her Boyfriend, Ryan Cabrera

Thank God. It was pretty f*cking time consuming to rack my brain in order to find some REASONING as to what the Hell she saw in him.*

Via E! News,

“Ryan and Audrina are definitely not together right now,” a source who was with the reality starlet this weekend tells us. “It’s still a touchy subject for her.”
Friends tell us Ms. Patridge isn’t exactly feeling too good about the relationship taking a nosedive. She attended Perez Hilton’s recent birthday party in L.A. without Cabrera. “Audrina came to Perez’s birthday with a girlfriend,” one of our sources says. “When she was asked, ‘Where’s Ryan?’ she made a mortified face and changed the subject right away. She gave off a weird vibe and seemed very awkward.”

Ok, after all this wasted time pondering and sifting through befuddled answers, I’ve finally GOT it.

This of course is a result of her wayward eyeballs. If the poor thing wasn’t staring up at the air above she would have been able to AVOID the unsightly coupling for sure. She probably had no idea what he looked like until she saw pictures of her holding hands with what looked like a fat version of Matthew Perry.

That can be QUITE confusing for someone with an IQ of a tapeworm.

I honestly think that someone should have took it upon themselves to shake her hard enough for her eyes to focus STRAIGHT on what was in front of her for a minute, but I doubt anyone would want to be the one blamed for popping Audrina Patridge’s left tit.

That’s like cutting off Tiger Wood’s p*nis.

What the f*ck are they supposed to do with thier lives THEN?!?


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