13
Apr
10

jim carrey is an alcoholic.

Well not really, he’s more of a NUTJOB in the middle of a NERVOUS breakdown, but it’s pretty much the same sh*t especially when you DENY it.

Just like I deny that I have a shopping problem when I end up buying Miu Mius 3 sizes too small for me and end up having to give them to my dog.

Or when I my friend has one drink TOO many and claims that my her underwear is meant to be worn over her pants.

Same sh*t.

Via Twitter,

 

RT Breaking News!Jim Carrey’s ambassador to the world,is dead!He is survived by me,the actual Jim Carrey,who has opinions about stuff.—>
…I am grateful for my avatar’s many yrs of dedicated service, but nowone has ever won the Tour De France while peddling. —->
…so I killed him,I do not plan 2 bow to expectations or to be confined by the fear of losing altitude in the ‘statusphere’! (my word)—->
…I have freed Truman,at long last!I am now free 2 be my whole self,which includes a somewhat contemplative nature,a yen 4 sociology—>
..and a joyfully disarming(with a hacksaw if necessary)sense of humor.I promise 2 reflect all that I’m seeing,hearing,feeling,sensing—>
…and being fed by the media.I was almost out of Tiger untill E.T Supersized me!But I will wear cool shades and get my lips injected! p^m
word missing earlier. ‘Nowone has ever won the Tour De France by ‘back’ peddling. GET IT?! IT IS BETTER WITH THAT! HA HA! Sleeeeep! |^•zzz
Some folks out there are worried that I stay up too late but their fundamental mistake is in assuming that I haven’t moved to Fiji! |^•snore.

In his defense, I’d be pretty f*cked up if instead of every morning waking up to a hot GILF, I was waking up to TBS running my sh*tty movies every few hours.

 


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