Archive for April 16th, 2010

16
Apr
10

snapped.

Here are a couple of chicks from the every classy City of Surrey puttin that plastic to work to get in the next Ja Rule video….

Oops nevermind. They’re actually Karissa & Kristina Shannon (Hef’s ex girlfriends) rubbing up on rappers Juelz, Gopher Ja Rule & Snoop Dogg, but the visible weave tracks and Sirens clothing coulda fooled anyone.

Either’ll literally BEND OVER backwards for alcohol out of an actual glass.

My most sincere apologies.

Ugh. I have a feeling I’ll be boycotting rap for a while. For some reason I feel as if I can smell burning rubber and malt liquor.

 

 

16
Apr
10

sticks & stones might pop my boobs, but words will never hurt me.

After his blowup doll wife got pretty much called out by the whole cast of The Hills regarding her claims that producer, Adam DiVello touched her boobies, Spencer is putting on his POUTY face.

“I would like to make it CLEAR! My wife and audrina have severed all ties! We no longer deal with that fake world and fake people like her.
Audrina – Don’t hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press… and my wife is #1 story on people – 5 days in a row!
Who elected you to gage cool – BITCH! Why don’t u and ur played out 90s singer Cabrera go into a bathroom stall and do what u do best…
Audrina – you want press? Leak another 50 naked photos of yourself like u did to get relevant to in the first place.
So glad my wife gets her surgery in bev hills and not where Jwow and audrina go. We love american doctors!

It’s one thing making fun of a lightweight like Audrina, but JWoww can knock this tool to the floor faster than Heidi can call out for him to moisturize her ass before she’s able to go to the bathroom.

And Spencer dreams big. You know you’ve made it when you’re walking down the street and little kids point and ask their parents, “Mommy, Daddy, I thought you said that those wax people at the museum weren’t real! I’m scared!”

16
Apr
10

snapped.

Hilary Duff and fiancee’ Mike Comrie leaving dinner somewhere in Hollywood.

Who wants to bet she gave him a BJ on the car ride home?

*cough https://jennelala.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/omfg-omfg-omfg/ cough*

16
Apr
10

hey! are you wearing my bronzer??

Cristiano Ronaldo knows how to handle balls, but I really don’t think the guy can handle a diva like Kim K. I’m not being a jealous hater, just stating facts…

Via RadarOnline,

“Newly single Kim watched him play for Real Madrid while she was visiting Spain with friends, but she got up close-and-personal with the hunky soccer star from Portugal when the pair shared a lunch date on Monday.
On-lookers revealed that they saw the pair ‘kissing and being very affectionate’ inside the restaurant although they left in separate cars afterwards.
Traveling in a blacked-out Mercedes G-Wagon, Kim then followed Ronaldo in his Audi RS6 sports car before heading back to his mansion inside a gated community in Madrid.”

No.

No.No.No.

There’s just TOO many reasons to NOT follow through with this sham of a hookup.

1. Kim likes to sleep alone. That way her hair never gets mussed.

2. Ronaldo wears bronzer. He is not black. KIM, I repeat, he is not black. You’ve been fooled.

3. Kim will inevitably lose her SH*T when she realizes he spends more time doing his makeup than she does.

4. His thighs are sleeker than her’s are. I have proof:

If that isn’t a DEALBREAKER I don’t know what is.

Walk away before it’s too late. This can only end badly.

 

16
Apr
10

haha. take that britney.

Ever wondered how Queen Madge is able to troll around in THIGH HIGH boots and booty shorts?

Probably because she has a specially designed Cellulite diminishing time machine to take her back….way back, and give her the thighs of Britney Spears, well,back when chicks actually wanted to kiss her.

Via the New York Daily News,

Is Madonna trying to keep up with her 23-year-old boy toy, Jesus Luz? The 51-year-old reportedly shelled out $75,000 for a machine that claims to be “a miracle cure” for cellulite; it supposedly exiles dimpling through the use of acoustic shock waves. Madge  is certainly the ideal candidate for the mechanism: manufacturers suggest users already possess “good muscle tone.”

Hey I look up to Madonna too, but she’s kidding herself by thinking that reducing cellulite is what makes 21 year old boys wanna bone her.

I’d do a 120lb lizard too if it had over $100 million in it’s bank account  too.

16
Apr
10

picture of the day.

Just when I thought that this b*tch couldn’t make me any more JEALOUS, she goes and gets groped by a dude in the middle of the day…for her job.

I don’t care how DISGUSTED she looks because around 3pm every weekday, I could use something like that.

16
Apr
10

brody?? BRODY?? WHERE DID HE GO?

Whoa easy there Avril. Stop drawing HEARTS and Mrs. Jenner on your hot pink notebook there…

Via the New York Post,

“Looks like Avril Lavigne has finally met her match. The divorced pop star and her new man, Brody Jenner, were knocking back Jägermeister shots at Bank nightclub at Bellagio in Vegas Sunday night. A spy told us, “Lavigne and Jenner were having a blast. They were taking shots with friends including Olympic snowboarder Shaun White, grabbing the microphone, shouting, ‘Jager shots’ and making the crowd go wild.” Lavigne later grabbed the mike and shouted, “I love you, Brody!”

I didn’t know that actually screaming the RIGHT name during sex actually accounted for LOVE, but okay.

During the time she grabbed the mike to PROCLAIM her undying love, Brody managed to make out with the host, have sex with the chick sitting beside him and eyef*ck 2 broads at the opposite side of the room.

 

He also just managed to make me temporarily BLACK OUT from that picture.

Eeekkkk Brody!

 

16
Apr
10

just make sure you don’t shoot my ass.

Not like you haven’t seen her NAKED before but here’s Kimmy K nude & UNPHOTOSHOPPED for Harper’s Bazaar

In her accompanying interview she claims she wants to be a ROLE model for young women.

On her infamous curves: “I don’t get why everyone is always going on about my butt. I’m Armenian. It’s normal. My butt is probably not as big as you might think, because I have small legs and a small waist, which makes it appear bigger.”
On the concept behind the spread: “I think the message is embrace your curves and who you are. I feel proud if young girls look up to me and say, ‘I’m curvy, and I’m proud of it now.'”

God I hate being put between a rock and a hard place. And especially when it has to do with my KK. I mean this is the girl that I would most likely strip down naked and quack like a duck for, but she comes to disappoint me from time to time…

Stuffing diet pills into her Famous Cupcakes is probably NOT the best way for young girls to embrace their bodies no?

And time and time again I dread having this conversation with my parents.

Parents: So why do you adore this girl so much?

Me: Loves her, so pretty, just loves her clothes and like shoes and everything. Just loves her. I look like her dont ya think? Right?? Right??

Parents: Why is she famous again?

Me: God Mom do I have to run through the sex tape where she got some black dude to piss on her again? It ruins her whole image for me.

Parents: Have you no morals looking up to someone like that?!

Me: *on the lawn spreadeagled after jumping out the family room window like 3 seconds after I had to use sex and pee in the same sentence with my parents.*

16
Apr
10

another “hittin that” scenario…

Haha. Get it?

Hitting that? Like a bat hitting a ball? F*cking hilarious right?

Via Life & Style,

“Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez raised eyebrows when they flirted at the Creative Artists Agency Super Bowl party in Miami and now their relationship has developed into much more, an insider close to the New York Yankees slugger tells Life & Style. “A-Rod’s with Cameron,” the insider reveals to Life & Style. “They’ve been keeping it quiet, but they’re totally together.”

 

When the photographers weren’t around, “they were all over each other at the CAA party,” says an onlooker. “Cameron had her hands all over Alex’s back, and they were dancing together. They also left the party together that night.”  As long as they’re enjoying themselves, Cam and her man are in no rush to acknowledge their relationship. “Alex recently arranged to fly Cameron to Miami,” a second insider tells Life & Style. “He used to fly Kate Hudson there all the time, and no one knew they were dating for a long while. Alex is very discreet.”

Ya you’d be DISCREET too if you were bangin at least 8 chicks at the same time.

Tiger Woods should have played baseball, at least that way he’d be in better shape to run away when faced with his wife.

16
Apr
10

snapped.

Kimmy K in Madrid apparently leaving a date with soccer sl*t Cristiano Ronaldo.

Keep em on Kim, I know how you hate sharing mirrors.

 




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