Archive for April 29th, 2010

29
Apr
10

right, we’re all judging sandy…

Jesse James released a STATEMENT to PEOPLE today in response to his soon to be EX WIFE, Sandra Bullock filing for DIVORCE.

I’m surprised that this guy wasn’t busy getting sucked off in his garage so props to him for putting his mouth to use AND no using your teeth to extract random objects from your mistress’ ass doesn’t count.

I don’t care if there was no time to go to the emergency room.

Via PEOPLE,

On the PR baby:
“The love I have for Louis cannot be put to words. Not having him around to love and to hold has left a huge hole in my heart.”

On the divorce:
“Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go.”

On trying to be the best husband to the woman he just said he let go:
“I have always taken great pride in proving people wrong. That time has come once again to show that I am not what everyone says I am. I know in my heart that I can be the best father possible to my four children, and the mate Sandy deserves, and realize that this is an incredible mountain to climb.”

On honoring the deal everyone made before calling People:
“I ask that you please do not judge Sandy for the things I have done. She has done no wrong. She played no part in any of this. She has been an amazing wife, mother, and best friend, for the over 6 years we have been together.”

Yes, we’re all looking to judge your Oscar winning wife over your obsession with women who would f*ck 4 legged animals if they had money.

29
Apr
10

snapped.

Megan Fox pretending to be someone no one cares about. Too bad she still has t*ts.

Better luck next time.

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29
Apr
10

the lifestyles of the f*cked up and delusional…

Here’s Jenna Jameson with what is supposed to be a broken arm…

The next time I get the sh*t kicked out of me, I’m going to try SMIZING more, seems like it works wonders…

The NY Daily Times is saying that Tiger Wood’s ex whore, Joslyn James, slept with Tito Otiz as well (what a surprise) and that he was a sh*tshow around her too.

“I saw three separate situations myself,” James, a friend of Jameson’s, told the Daily News. “They would be partying, and she wouldn’t do anything in particular to set him off.”

Sure it happened while she was tied to the bed with barb wire awaiting her turn, but a witness is a witness…

Meanwhile TMZ is reporting that Tito’s lawyer has evidence that Jenna isn’t the perfect angel everyone thinks she is is a f*ckup…

“We have witnesses and evidence,” said Ortiz’s lawyer Chip Matthew. “She underwent private rehab at home, and family and friends participated.”
Matthews said Ortiz found two pills in Jameson’s pants pocket and said “I’m out of here” when she responded with an excuse.
“He meant he needed a day or two without talking, but she went ballistic,” the lawyer said.”

I say the case was AIRTIGHT in Jenna’s favor after the MISTRESS spoke.

High powered lawyers schmoyers.

 

 

29
Apr
10

snapped.

She Pratt and Lo filming The Hills

They’re going to have to snort crack off one of the tables at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf if they expect to do something to distract viewers from Heidi’s face though…

Try harder girls.

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29
Apr
10

YOUR DAILY KK.

KK shopping & KK trying her darndest to SHARE the spotlight with her sisters at the launch of Beach Bunny Swimwear.

All she’s thinking about is how skinny she looks next to Khloe. I just know it.

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29
Apr
10

heidi montag is a crackhead.

Okay, she’s not, but she’s addicted to PAINKILLERS, and picturing a crackhead with boobs the size of 2 grocery bags filled with pork rinds is amusing to me…

Via InTouch,

“She isn’t all there when you speak to her.” According to a medical source, doctors would have prescribed painkillers such as Demerol, Vicodin and Percocet to Heidi after she had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day in November. “She said she was in so much pain — at times it was unbearable,” the pal says. “She had to keep taking pills, or else it would have been too hard to handle.”
But some friends worry that she continued to take drugs long after the pain went away. And they think the pills may be responsible for the Hills star’s bizarre behavior.

Call me crazy but this b*tch was pretty GONE even before her transformation. I actually figured she did this to match the size of her brain. I mean Barbie’s kinda small, sure she was a surgeon, nurse, officer of the peace, and a nun, but she had a small brain nonetheless.

Heidi’s decision to downgrade herself to match the size of her brain might have been the most considerate thing she’s done in her lifetime.

“See mama, Heidi did a good.

“A what honey?”

“A good.”

“Sorry what?”

“Mama, my jaw is locked real tight remember.”

 

29
Apr
10

sandra bullock: swm.

Sandra Bullock adopted a BAYBAY yesterday, now categorizing herself as “single mom,” as well as “woman whose husband likes Nazi p*ssy.”

Via PEOPLE,

“Were you aware of any interest [Jesse] may have had in white supremacy or Nazism?”
Bullock responded, “The photo shocked me and made me sad. This is not the man I married. This was stupid, this was ignorant. Racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, homophobia, anything Nazi and a boatload of other things have no place in my life.”
Bullock added, “And the man I married felt the same.”
As for her newly adopted African-American baby, Bullock told the magazine she arranged for the child to have a bris — the Jewish circumcision ceremony.

Look at that kid’s face. You know he’s going to grow up only to roll up on Jesse James one day and stuff a Swastika up his ass.

 

29
Apr
10

ill take off my top, only if you tell me its classy.

Oh Miley, put a f*cking STRAW in it…

Via BBC,

The multi-talented star’s transition from a teen idol looks inevitable and she even told Newsbeat she wouldn’t rule out doing nude scenes if the role was right. “It depends what the film is,” she said.

“If it’s something that’s classy – it just depends on the circumstances.”

I’m sure that’s how she lost her virginity the first time.

Guy: “Yeah I swear it’s classy it said so on the bottle. They drink this stuff in like, rap videos and stuff…”

Miley: “Well GOLLY! It does so say that it’s classy.”

Guy: “Are you gonna take off your…”

Miley: “So how do you want to do this?!”

 

29
Apr
10

like omg.

Really??

I just CANNOT believe that this might be happening. No one saw this coming.

Because people really don’t like making money, and MTV really doesn’t like pimping out 20 somethings to make a quick buck…

Via E!

We thought next Tuesday’s premiere of The Hills: Final Season  was it for the reality show. No more episodes after the upcoming 12. Nothing. Nada. Kaput. Well, guess what? It may not be the end after all. We’ll let Kristin Cavallari explain…

“There’s a possibility of them ordering 12 more episodes,” Cavallari told us earlier today.

In other words, we may have another 24 episodes coming our way!

“I would like to do it,” Cavallari said. “I’m in such a rhythm with things and I’m having a great time. We’re just now starting to get into some really good juicy stuff with a few new people. So I think we could do another 12 episodes and make it pretty good.”

Well no sh*t. Did you actually think that the producers would let Spencer cry in the bathroom when one of Heidi’s t*ts popped alone??

 

29
Apr
10

a day in the life…




Who you callin a TWIT?

Picture Of The Day

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