04
May
10

oh drat, we always end up on the floor…

Yeah, if you don’t want parental figures to piss you off while you trying to scrape vomit off the bedroom floor.

Then Dina Lohan is your gal!

She’ll probably even buy you a new dress to apologize for that whole puke thing too.

Anyways, in favour of the DISPOSITION Lindsay had to attend the next day, Dina decided to take her 23 year old daughter to get sh*tfaced and prepare for the court date by knocking back tequila shots, and flashing the bartenders so they didn’t have to use Lindsay’s “that movie she once did” money to pay for the tab.

It doesn’t take a genius to come to the conclusion that flashing their freckled nips was probably NOT the right thing to do, but those Lohans are downright CRAFTY.

Dina: “God damnit, I knew I should have used your education fund for new t*ts and not for…well those were lips, and lips are different, like oranges, or is it apples…?”

Lindsay: “For Chissake Mom! They’re going to make me pay my bill and I maxed out that last credit card paying for your munchies!”

Dina: “I know it was apples…or was it…”

Lindsay: “…hmm I think it goes something like, oranges and apples are like, different things, and – oh f*ck, that reminds me, I need to go in for a tan, apparently the sh*t they put in my product is radioactive or something…”

Dina: “someone call Ali and get that b*tch in here. She’s the only one with a full time job in this family.”

Lindsay: “Mom, she’s like 15.”

Dina: “F*ck she looks at least 30.”

Lindsay: What the f*ck are we going to do??”

Dina: “It’s alright honey, take off your shirt and give it to me, Mama’s knees are weak, and I have a feeling I’m gonna be down there for a while.”

Well hey, now at least we know that they work hard.


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