oh hell no.

See, this is why I went to school. I may have forgotten bits and pieces of algebra, and might not be able to remember in detail, the War of 1812, but so help me God, at least I’ve grown up to NOT be as f*cking dumb as these two…

Via TMZ,

Spencer Pratt is dead set on capitalizing on the “Jersey Shore” craze — TMZ has learned he’s teamed up with Snooki’s ex-boyfriend to lockdown a trademark on a Guido-themed energy drink … seriously.

Pratt and Emilio Masella just acquired trademark rights on the name “Guid-o-Juice” —  for drink products ranging from energy-fueled concoctions to herbal remedies. We’re told Spencilio’s first venture is “what’s soon to be the most popular Guido energy drink in the world.”

Spencer and Masellout already have a reality show in the works — called “Fist Pumping for Love.”

The most popular energy drink in the world?? I’m not quite sure, but anything that gets b*tches drunk and naked in a hot tub can be called “the most popular drink in the world,” by these Guidos.

I’m guessing that’s why Spencer threw a b*tchfit that rivaled Russell Simmons freaking out over a shortage of men’s “biking” shorts. He must have been testing out his own product.

As long as this drink comes with some sort of ingredient that will make guys turn around and go home to change out of their Audigaudy, after taking a sip, then it’s not entirely a negative.

If it doesn’t, I suggest Spencer go f*ck a crystal, and Snooki’s ex (I can’t even bear to actually write out his name) go back to having sex with girls in the pizza parlor kitchen.

Because I just know that’s how him and Snooki met.


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