18
May
10

i thought we agreed we wouldn’t use your mouth for such things…?

Megan Fox is doing that thing she does with her lips and tongue again.

Talking.

She’s in the upcoming issue of Allure magazine and gives an interview that is usually structured for people who live in quiet and simple quarters. With nurses milling around.

On closing herself off in interviews:

“Trying to be lighthearted and have a sense of humor and engage in some sort of satire sometimes. It did backfire to a certain extent, and it became too exhausting. I still have the same sense of humor, but I have no desire to express it, really, anymore, because I’ve always been fucked for doing so.”

On not being a Stage 5 Clinger:

“I could go days, weeks without talking to another human being,” she says. “I could probably go months and be perfectly satisfied. Easily. It’s the opposite of being needy, but at the same time, I don’t know if I would want to be in a relationship with someone who required as much alone time as I require.”

On Surgical Horrors:

“I would encourage anyone to first speak with a therapist, to try and figure out where this want comes from, because a lot of times it’s not related to your teeth or your nose or your chin — the surgery is not going to alleviate that insecurity for you,” she says. “If, then, you feel, ‘This is something that I want to do’, then do it. It’s amazing that we have the technology to do the stuff that we do.”

On being anal:

“Every time someone uses a bathroom and they flush, all the bacteria is shot into the air,” she says. “Putting my mouth where a million other mouths have been, just knowing all the bacteria that you carry in your mouth? Ucch!”

On not being Martha Stewart:

“I’ll starve to death before I’ll cook for myself. I think I could survive a week without eating.”

OMFG. Forget what I said about the not talking. It’s like we’re destined to be sisters. Or like, CLONES or something. We’re like the same f*cking person, I mean, minus that wonky thumb of course.

Eeek!

Call me!

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