02
Jun
10

“i always tell the truth. even when i lie.”

You know what, I think I might change my tune about Lindsay LOLohan.

Underneath that unshowered, powdered exterior is a CRIMINAL MASTERMIND.

Joe Montana who?

Via TMZ,

“It might seem like bad timing — that Lindsay Lohan was ordered last week to submit to random drug testing, just days before she had her wisdom teeth pulled … but we’ve learned Lindsay got a pass from probation.
Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, tells TMZ, “We advised the Probation Department of the dental appointment, which was made well in advance of last week’s court hearing.” Chapman says she assured the probation officer she would provide “documentation about any medications that Lindsay would be taking, which would be administered or prescribed as part of the procedure.”

So this b*tch just scored free pills. She’s like a walking talking death trap, but with an all access pass to painkillers.

Scene.

Lindsay lays back in the hot tub filled with bubbles and raises her glass of champagne with a freckled hand.

“The world is mine.” *Chuckle, cough, sputter, sputter. Hawk a loogie.* “And they all thought I was gonna die.”

*I wonder what Vicodin tastes like underwater.*

*gurgle.gurgle.*

 


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