Archive for the 'What It Is' Category


i quit this b*tch.

Not permanently, but for the next 12 days you’re damn right I do.

I won’t disclose my travel destination, but you can bet your whole life that it’s a lot better than the hole in which I currently reside.

And I don’t actually live in a hole. It’s a metaphor. I can’t say the same for Lindsay Lohan, who probably crawls to bed at 7am at the bottom of a well. But that’s Lindsay Lohan.

Anyways, I’ll post today’s “A Day In The Life” because I know that’s all you b*tches care to look at anyway. Pathetic. Go stare at yourself in a mirror for 45 mintues. See how violated YOU feel.

You know how long it takes me to come up with material?! You know how long it takes me to think of something witty to say about Heidi Montag’s new face?!

Hahaha. 3.2 seconds out of my day. That’s how long. And it’s the best 3.2 seconds of my life.

Unless you coun’t that one dude…

F*ck. This is turning into a memoir, so I’m outta here.

While I’m on vacay basking in the glory of doing the exact opposite of what people generally do on vacation, I hope ya’ll don’t get too bent out of shape when Audrina Patridge actually leaves the house in something other than a bikini.

Or when our dear Lindsay finally caves in and saws off her ankle.

I can’t wait to come home to see pictures of her wearing that sh*t around her neck.

Now THAT’S a statement piece I wouldn’t mind purchasing.


thank you for being a friend…

Rue McClanahan passed away today from a stroke. The world has lost another Golden Girl.



“She passed away at 1 a.m. this morning,” her manager, Barbara Lawrence, tells PEOPLE. She had a massive stroke.”
McClanahan, who played Blanche Deveraux on the still-popular ’80s sitcom Golden Girls, had suffered a minor stroke earlier this year while recovering from bypass surgery. Lawrence added that at the time of her death Thursday, McClanahan “had her family with her. She went in peace.”

She’s probably already on the prowl for a young secksay thang to keep her company up there in the Big House while Bea Arthur shakes her head.

Rest In Peace hot stuff.



whatchu talkin bout…?!

Uhhhh, awkward.

Via TMZ,

“Gary’s divorce lawyer, Randy Kester, tells TMZ the couple divorced on August 12, 2008, and as far as he knows they never remarried.
Kester does not know if Price had a power of attorney to make medical decisions.
A hospital official tells TMZ they have “become aware he may not have been married to her.” But the official said she was portraying herself as Gary’s wife and they didn’t require further proof.”

That’s not shady at all.

Especially after this,

What a dumb b*tch. I mean what did his will consist of? priceless Smurf collectibles?

Actually I dunno if this was done in vengenance or not. She doesn’t look like the brightest crayon in the box. And I’m not talking about the 12 pack. I’m talking 64 pack here. There’s a lot more opportunities in that one.

One thing’s for sure, Gary’s shaking his fist at her in midget Heaven.



Happy Memorial Day.

Terror Reid wants to wish you a Happy Memorial Day.

Did looking at that picture just remind you that you left those ribs on the grill…?

It should.


in little people news…

No. This isn’t another post about Tila Tequila.

This actually gives me a case of the sads.

Gary Coleman died today at the young tender age of 42 after being hospitalized since Wednesday

Via RadarOnline,

Coleman had been hospitalized in Provo, Utah since Wednesday, May 26, after suffering what his family called “a serious medical problem.”
As previously reported, Coleman had slipped into a coma and was on life support after suffering an intracranial hemorrhage, according to ABC News.”

I wish him much enjoyment in the afterlife, with him having an abundance of access to all the stilts ever to be made.

Rest In Peace little guy. And I say that in the most respectful way possible.


too bad.

Simon Monjack (Brittany Murphy’s widowed husband) died on May 23rd.

It was probably because he just couldn’t live life without her or because her underwear wasn’t earning high enough BIDS on eBay.


Okay, it was because he did drugs.

Via TMZ,

“One well-placed source says, “There were a number of pill bottles on the nightstand in the bedroom, and some were empty.”

There is, obviously, an eerie similarity to the death of Monjack’s wife, Brittany Murphy, just five months ago.  In her case an array of prescription drugs were found on the nightstand of the same bedroom where Monjack died.  Many of the drugs on Simon’s nightstand were the same as the ones found after Brittany died.

One law enforcement source says the two causes of death that seem most plausible at the moment are “natural” and “accidental drug overdose.”

Monjack told TMZ recently he had suffered a heart attack during the incident last November when he had a medical emergency aboard an airplane.

Brittany’s mother, Sharon Murphy, discovered Monjack’s body last night.  She is also the one who found her daughter, Brittany, unconscious and on the floor of the bathroom five months earlier.”

Gee, I’m trying to be sensitive here, but I honestly think his last thought revolved around how to spin this so that he could still make some money off Brittany.

“Ok so let’s get you back to life so that you can make that movie about penguins again. Or horses. Or whatever, just sing b*tch sing!”




uh i was just hunting for eggs…!

Considering it’s the Easter long weekend I won’t be posting much of anything besides the Daily KK.

That’s only because it’s very easy for me to sniff out pictures of her ROAMING around town, and because life feels INCOMPLETE without doing so.

Not a lot of sh*t went down yesterday anyways. Oh, other than Lindsay Lohan falling on her crack ass again. It was either that or she figured she could use the excuse of hunting for Easter Eggs when faced with some dude’s crotch.

While she’s exercising her jaw doing what she does best, I’ll be wishing I could exercise mine by stuffing my face with cake and Eggies. Oh who am I kidding, Easter chocolates come around but once a year, it’s indulge worthy.

I say the same for Monday chocolates. Or Tuesday chocolates. Or Friday chocolates. But it makes me feel better and I’m not fat,so f*ck off.

And Happy Easter.

Who you callin a TWIT?

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