Archive for the 'What the hell are YOU watching?' Category

10
Jun
10

haha. loser.

Wait. What?

Katherine Heigl was in this last season of Grey’s Anatomy?

What did she play? A corpse?

Via E!

“After the two-hour Grey’s Anatomy finale a few weeks ago, we said Emmys should be given to everyone in the cast for that episode. But funny, so far we’ve only heard of Katherine Heigl submitting her name in the Emmy race for Best Supporting Actress.

You’re probably wondering what she submitted her name for, considering she rarely appeared in Grey’s this season. And when we ran into Eric Dane over the weekend he was asking the same thing:

Reporters asked Eric what he thought of Katherine putting her name in for Best Supporting Actress. His response: “For what?”

“Um, for Grey’s Anatomy,” we gently reminded him on the carpet at the 9th Annual Chrysalis Ball, where he was there with his equally good lookin’ wife Rebecca Gayheart.

“Oh,” Dane said catching himself. “It’s great! Fantastic! I love it! Why?”

Who does this b*tch think she is? That’s like me putting myself in the race just for watching the damn show.

Crook.

She should just be happy that the producers haven’t shunned her from the industry. Or even worse, replaced her with a Victoria’s Secret model.

*cough Michael Bay cough*

 

09
Jun
10

katy perry has something to say.

That is if anyone even listens to Katy Perry. (Not her singing, her speaking).

If I were a dude that is. Nah, or a girl. I just wouldn’t be able to focus on listening to her with “HOLY F*CK SHE HAS HUGE T*TS!!!” screaming in my ears.

Anyways, she took to her Twitter regarding Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro.”

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Ouch Katy Perry. Them some fighting words.

Too bad all people heard were a couple of t*tties bouncing against each other.

Motorboat!

 

09
Jun
10

ale.ale.jandro.

You know….

She’s not going to Hell for this.

She’s not.

F*ck. I love this chick.

She might get struck down by the good Lord the next time she leaves the house but at least she’ll be dressed for it.

08
Jun
10

in case you hadn’t had enough…

Heidi Montag filed for SEPARATION today from her gypsy of a husband, Spencer Pratt.

The next time I hear ANY bit of gossip regarding these two, I hope it involves Heidi finally getting those Size H implants or Spencer overdosing on whatever the f*ck kind of drugs he’s on.

I wishing for the former only because I get more hits when posting about Heidi’s boobs. And it’ll be funny to watch her walk.

Via TMZ,

Heidi did not file divorce papers. The legal significance of legal separation is that her earnings will become her separate property from the date of separation. Heidi lists the date of separation as today, June 8.
Interesting … under the section, “community assets and debts,” Heidi wrote, “No such assets or debts.” It’s unclear if Heidi and Spencer have a prenup which keeps their assets separate, or if they’re broke.”

B*tch just transformed herself into motherf*cking Barbie. I doubt The Hills producers covered that fee. Although, if I was the director I would have just to make a funny.

No one wants to watch Audrina look off into the distance after visiting Justin Bobby or Lo roll her eyes at anything that doesn’t come out of her own mouth.

So yes, I have no doubt she’s  penniless. Oh well, guess she’s going to have to start pimping herself out for cash star in another reality show, or hey, maybe she’ll replace the new chick in Transformers 3 after Michael Bay realized what a huge mistake me made for passing up such an acting great.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

08
Jun
10

oh c’mon. i’m running out of herpes jokes here…

What do you get when you put Paris Hilton and Snooki side by side…?

An insider’s access to STD medication.

Hyuck. Hyuck.

Via US Magazine,

“I was just giving her advice,” she said. “I just told her to remain the same sweet girl [she is] and not let anything affect her; be strong and don’t pay attention to bad press. People can say mean things about you, but you should know who you are and not pay attention to it.” If she comes back to LA, will Hilton show her the club ropes?
“Definitely!” she told Us.”

It only makes sense for Snooki to have Paris show her the ropes. “The ropes” being the best way to cushion your knees when giving a blowj*b & tips on how to stay sexually active during a flare up of course.

Anyways, besides that, I think Paris’ adoration for all things small and furry clouded her vision. She probably thought Snooki was an overweight Chihuahua and ended the night trying to stuff her into her Louis Vuitton.

Snooki probably gave a sh*t.

“Weee. I’ve never seen the inside of a real designer bag before!” This don’t smell like noodles!’

“I wonder if she’s got food in here.”

 

08
Jun
10

i’ll have a pill with that vodka thanks.

This can only be a case for Backwardstown. Where sh*t like this actually makes sense…

Via The New York Post,

Reality shows such as “Celebrity Rehab” and “Jersey Shore” are so worried about sexually transmitted diseases, they pass out medication “like M&Ms” to cast members, say the shows’ producers.

In a round-table discussion of reality show execs published yesterday in The Hollywood Reporter, SallyAnn Salsano, creator of “Jersey Shore,” says STDs are a constant concern.

“I do a full medical [for cast members] but I also do a lot of STD stuff,” she says.

“We hand [herpes medication] out like M&Ms!” Salsano said. ” ‘Hey kids, it’s time for Valtrex!’ It’s like a herpes nest. They’re all in there mixing it up.”

 For the staff? If they want to avoid disease wouldn’t they be giving it to each and every citizen in the 50 States?

God Bless the poor woman who has to do the medical. She’s been where no one has ever been before. Snooki’s va*ina. That’s like No Man’s land.

She should be honored along with the rest of the men and women who help protect the United States of America.

Anyways, the Jersey boys are like dogs. Giving them medication for the Herp is like giving a dog medication that denies him the ability to piss.

How will they be able to make their mark then…??

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08
Jun
10

this can’t happen.

Apparently Kimmy K is rumored to be replacing Angelina Jolie in the Tomb Raider franchise….

This is not possible for 2 reasons:

1. Kim does not like streneous exercise. With all the exaggerated movement required how will they be able to find a stunt double with an ass like that? Not happening.

2. Kim gets her nails done on a daily basis. Angelina Jolie probably donated her nails to kids who don’t have any on their fingers at all. Lara Croft eats nails for breakfast. Kim will have nothing of the sort.

Via ShowBizSpy,

“According to Hollywood insiders, the curvy reality TV star is in the middle of negotiations to play video game beauty Lara Croft in a reboot of the film series.

“This will be something very different to Angelina’s Lara,” a source said. “Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.”

Kim, 29, has previously spoken of her desire to break into acting.

“I would love to do more acting,” she said in December last year. “I have so much going on but acting is definitely exciting to me. I’m hoping to do more TV and I would really love to make movies.”

Oh Kim. You’d shoot a commercial for The King of Floors if it got you TV time.

And I love you for it.




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