Posts Tagged ‘Britney Spears


my lonliness is kiiiiillllinngggg meeeee…

Britney Spears apparently thinks that she can feed and bathe herself these days. Which is why one of her bodyguards QUIT that b*tch.

Actually it’s because she forced him upon her privates but I like the former because it was funnier.

Via The Sun,

“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.
“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
The last straw came when Britney’s dad JAMIE – who is in legal control of her and can hire and fire staff – kicked off after she left her Los Angeles home without underwear.
“Jamie went mental when he saw the pictures and Fernando was made the fall guy. He was not fired but told he was to blame. He had had enough.”

Being forced to look at Britney Spears’ naked body shouldn’t be cause for change of employment. Can you imagine what Lady Gaga’s bodyguards have to go through??

“C’mere Benson. They’re starting to show again. It’s all about the way you tuck. Detail, detail, detail. What do I pay you goons for?!”



Britney Spears and boyfriend Jason Trawick with her kids at the fair.

“Well I’ll be damned. That carney looks like just me. Giggle.”

This slideshow requires JavaScript.



Britney Spears went shopping.

It wasn’t at KMart and she didn’t have crumbs on her lips.


This slideshow requires JavaScript.


haha. take that britney.

Ever wondered how Queen Madge is able to troll around in THIGH HIGH boots and booty shorts?

Probably because she has a specially designed Cellulite diminishing time machine to take her back….way back, and give her the thighs of Britney Spears, well,back when chicks actually wanted to kiss her.

Via the New York Daily News,

Is Madonna trying to keep up with her 23-year-old boy toy, Jesus Luz? The 51-year-old reportedly shelled out $75,000 for a machine that claims to be “a miracle cure” for cellulite; it supposedly exiles dimpling through the use of acoustic shock waves. Madge  is certainly the ideal candidate for the mechanism: manufacturers suggest users already possess “good muscle tone.”

Hey I look up to Madonna too, but she’s kidding herself by thinking that reducing cellulite is what makes 21 year old boys wanna bone her.

I’d do a 120lb lizard too if it had over $100 million in it’s bank account  too.


leave britney alone!

Poor Brit Brit.

Some b*tch at The Daily Mail must have been on her period because there’s more red marks on these BEFORE and AFTER pictures than there is on Paris Hilton’s crotch area…

God this is brutal. At least she doesn’t have food on her face, which if you’ve even seen a picture of Britney Spears in the past 3 years, is a RECOGNIZABLE accomplishment.

I wasn’t there to smell her, but I’d have to say she looks pretty damn good in the BEFORE shots too.

But like I said, I wasn’t there to smell her.


picture of the day.

Britney like Ice Cream.

Britney want MORE.


britney want baby.

Rumor is that Brit Brit is looking to have another baby. Someone needs to tell her that they don’t just fall out like crumbs from of a bag of Cheetos.

Via the National Inquirer,

“Britney Spears and agent Jason Trawick might mend their split before you take you next breath (ed. note: rumor is they’re already back together after their recent breakup) because there’s still a lotta love there, say insiders — and the bump in the road that crashed them was Britney’s pleas for a Jason-induced baby bump. After endless heart-to-heart discussions, the romance unraveled when he finally put the kibosh on her obsessive desire to birth a baby together. Jason, the showbiz genius who orchestrated Brit’s smash “Circus” comeback tour, felt her career was building to even higher heights and pregnancy might bring their well-oiled star-making machine to a grinding halt.

Said an insider: “Jason felt Britney was still learning how to control her life and be a hands-on mom to sons Sean and Jayden. He told her he was in their relationship for the long haul, and there was ample time for a baby once Britney’s life was truly on an even keel. But their back-and-forth about a baby generated tension that turned unbearable.”

Considering that the National Inquirer is hardly considered a hard hitting journalistic publication, I doubt this is true.

Well, hoping actually. It’s hard enough for Britney to feed herself without getting her face all mucked up. Just imagine what she’d do to a baby.


speaking of fanta…

The PAPS got a couple shots of Miss Britney Spears with her classy drink of choice…

Looks like the poor thing didn’t have any hands FREE to type in her Debit code so she used her nips instead.

God those things come in HANDY.


wanna live like Britney?

 For a cool $5.5 million you can.

Considering she bought it for $6.75, this is a f*cking score.

This is of course, if you don’t mind the bullet holes in the window or the still fresh scent of PEPPER spray from when the SWAT team had to swoop in to break down her bathroom door.

Straight from the listing:

Exquisite Mediterranean villa, move in condition. Located in prestigious 24 hour guard gated Summit. Artisan-quality craftsmanship embraces every element of this elegant home. Property features five bedrooms and six baths plus a maid’s quarter. Warm and inviting master suite offers his and hers baths, fireplace & romantic loggia. Fabulous chef’s kitchen with Viking appliances, walk-in pantry & large breakfast nook open to spacious family room. Ultimate indoor/outdoor lifestyle with all downstairs rooms opening to backyard with pool & spa, lushly landscaped and completely private. This exceptional property is gated with a three car garage.

If only they could describe Britney with such glamour no?

I dunno I feel like one of these things is just NOT like the other.

The place is so ELEGANT and rustic looking, BUT I’m still half waiting for them to release pictures of that secret room filled with dirty underwear, weave tracks and leftover KFC.

And speaking of dirty, here’s Brit Brit shopping at Sunset Plaza when she should be sitting her ass at the SALON




the world is back in order…

Contrary to BREAK UP reports, Jason Trawick was lovingly seen holding Britney’s purse and shopping bags so that she would have her hands free for wiping Cheetos off her chin…

Anyways that’s great because I doubt the poor thing would have been able to get dressed on her own. So kudos to Jason for fulfilling his fatherly boyfriendly duties.

Also, I would like to mention that although the WORLD may seem as if it back in order,don’t let holding hands fool you. Britney’s actually wearing a bra and that cute dress doesn’t even have ketchup stains on it.


Nothing is as it seems.

Oh nevermind.

Way to prove my theory wrong.

Who you callin a TWIT?

Picture Of The Day


The Vault

On This Day

July 2020