Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Breakups

09
Jun
10

snapped.

Miley Cyrus looks like she’s back together with boyfriend Liam Hemsworth.

Or maybe they never broke up. I could f*cking care less. I’m talking about a 15 year old’s relationship. It’s like wondering if Dora the Explorer likes Diego the other little Mexican cartoon.

Holy sh*t. I need a life.

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08
Jun
10

in case you hadn’t had enough…

Heidi Montag filed for SEPARATION today from her gypsy of a husband, Spencer Pratt.

The next time I hear ANY bit of gossip regarding these two, I hope it involves Heidi finally getting those Size H implants or Spencer overdosing on whatever the f*ck kind of drugs he’s on.

I wishing for the former only because I get more hits when posting about Heidi’s boobs. And it’ll be funny to watch her walk.

Via TMZ,

Heidi did not file divorce papers. The legal significance of legal separation is that her earnings will become her separate property from the date of separation. Heidi lists the date of separation as today, June 8.
Interesting … under the section, “community assets and debts,” Heidi wrote, “No such assets or debts.” It’s unclear if Heidi and Spencer have a prenup which keeps their assets separate, or if they’re broke.”

B*tch just transformed herself into motherf*cking Barbie. I doubt The Hills producers covered that fee. Although, if I was the director I would have just to make a funny.

No one wants to watch Audrina look off into the distance after visiting Justin Bobby or Lo roll her eyes at anything that doesn’t come out of her own mouth.

So yes, I have no doubt she’s  penniless. Oh well, guess she’s going to have to start pimping herself out for cash star in another reality show, or hey, maybe she’ll replace the new chick in Transformers 3 after Michael Bay realized what a huge mistake me made for passing up such an acting great.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

03
Jun
10

as much as i hate him…

If I were a dude, I’d be pretty f*cking jealous.

After I high fived him a couple times and sent him a basket full of condoms that is.

Via TMZ,

Doug Reinhardt, aka Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend, aka heir to the frozen burrito fortune, has left Hiltie in the dust — cause he’s datin’ Miss World USA.

We’ve learned Doug has been spending “every night” for the past few weeks with Lane Lindell — a beauty queen who’s even getting a college education at the University of Georgia.

Paris will probably say, “She’s so 2008.”  And that’s true.  Miss World USA 2008.”

Man, Paris can brown herself to a crisp, dress herself in the skankiest designer threads, but the only way she’ll earn a crown is if it’s for the Most Demure Sl*t of the Century.

Not that this chick’s a saint or anything. She was a former Miss USA after all, so I guess her and Paris do have ONE thing in common.

All together now…

Herpes.

03
Jun
10

yes. this is right on the money.

…and she’s pregnant with a monkey. And she’s a dude. And her a** is fake.

Not only is OK! magazine claiming that the Bush and the Tush are back together, they’re also saying that Kim is trying to steal Khloe’s thunder planning a wedding.

Via Ok! Magazine,

“His mother does not want her son dating someone who has a sex tape out there.” said our source and added “He is such a mamma’s boy; he will never marry her because she would disown him. Our source tells us Reggie is very close to his mother and she never liked Kim the entire time they dated. “He respects his mother’s opinion and would take that into account before even his own feelings, so he will never marry Kim.”

“Kim is so caught up in the whole Hollywood thing, and that’s totally not Reggie’s scene,” said a source. “He’s a jock, he’s a ball player, that’s his career and his life, and he just feels that Kim doesn’t fit 100 percent into that.

“Kim is the one who is in love with Reggie,” she said, unfortunately Reggie doesn’t feel the same way. Reggie is most concerned about losing the Heisman Trophy because of a NCAA probe of USC’s football program. “His last concern is Kim Kardashian right now.”

Ouch.

You know, all I have to say about this is I – *BREAKING NEWS. BREAKING NEWS. Kim Kardashian releases new sex tape and 30 high def. glossies of her in a bathing suit. While balancing a cup on her a**.

Yeah. And that’s all I have to say about that.

02
Jun
10

happily ever after.

Not.

Miley Cyrus is now single. Great. Now she can finally act on all the gyrating and grinding she does on stage.

Lock away your husbands teenage boys.

Via StarPulse,

“A source tells the National Enquirer, “The result was a vicious fight – and Liam bolted. He said he’s tired of her folks’ interference and that Miley’s jealous that his film career has taken off.
Hemsworth, 20, is said to have since moved back in with his brother Chris at the Hollywood apartment they previously shared. And Cyrus herself appears to have confirmed the romance is on hiatus – when asked by the tabloid about their relationship status, she is quoted as saying, “(We) are on a break.”

I highly doubt that having a role opposite Miley f*cking Cyrus can propell you into stardom but okay.

And setting up the video camera doesn’t exactly equal “hovering,” Billy Ray.

Anyways, I’d love to see who she hooks up with next. Hopefully for his sake, he’s under 30.

02
Jun
10

i’m sad. now look at my butt.

Sadface McBoyWhoCriedWolf was spotted wallowing in her tears in Malibu yesterday.

And her tears, marriage, ensuing divorce are as fake as her Double H’s.

We also see here, Jen Bunney whose following Heidi around wiping the saline leaking out of her a** her sorrows away with what looks like the initial paycheque for their upcoming REALITY show.

Apparently it’s about how fun and natural and honest they are. About all the trials and tribulations of living in LA and about all the mean people who are out to get them and their rob them of their wholesome personas the poor man’s version of The Hills.

Anyways, in case you don’t already have a case of BHD (Broken Heart Disease) and find it terribly unecessary to click through the pictures in case you suffer another attack, I bring you….

A Case Of The Sads: The Pictorial.

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31
May
10

do i look good…..??

Spencer Pratt’s gonna find himself cuddling up to one of his crystals to keep him warm at night from now on. I mean, not that it’s different from the body, shape, consistency, and temperature of his other possession, Heidi.

 

Via TMZ,

“Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”
We’re told Heidi is looking for a new place in Malibu.”

F*ck.

It’s about damn time. She might not be able to wake up every morning without having him tell her “no honey, you don’t look like Joan Rivers,” but at least she’ll learn to walk and talk without having someone push the START button first.

Omg. Maybe now people will look past her leathery exterior and blank expression and find it within their hearts to befriend her once again. Maybe her Mom will manage to actually look her in the face when having a conversation instead of burying her face in rosary beads.

Anyways, here’s some pics of the couple in happier times.

Kinda reminds me of that song…what was it again…?

Oh yeah, Put It In Ya Mouth.

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