Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Couples

09
Jun
10

snapped.

That panty chick who replaced Megan Fox in Transformers 3, Rosie whatever and boyfriend Jason Statham out for lunch in LA.

Jason Statham ain’t no Brian Austin Green. That’s for damn sure.

And I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

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09
Jun
10

snapped.

Miley Cyrus looks like she’s back together with boyfriend Liam Hemsworth.

Or maybe they never broke up. I could f*cking care less. I’m talking about a 15 year old’s relationship. It’s like wondering if Dora the Explorer likes Diego the other little Mexican cartoon.

Holy sh*t. I need a life.

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08
Jun
10

in case you hadn’t had enough…

Heidi Montag filed for SEPARATION today from her gypsy of a husband, Spencer Pratt.

The next time I hear ANY bit of gossip regarding these two, I hope it involves Heidi finally getting those Size H implants or Spencer overdosing on whatever the f*ck kind of drugs he’s on.

I wishing for the former only because I get more hits when posting about Heidi’s boobs. And it’ll be funny to watch her walk.

Via TMZ,

Heidi did not file divorce papers. The legal significance of legal separation is that her earnings will become her separate property from the date of separation. Heidi lists the date of separation as today, June 8.
Interesting … under the section, “community assets and debts,” Heidi wrote, “No such assets or debts.” It’s unclear if Heidi and Spencer have a prenup which keeps their assets separate, or if they’re broke.”

B*tch just transformed herself into motherf*cking Barbie. I doubt The Hills producers covered that fee. Although, if I was the director I would have just to make a funny.

No one wants to watch Audrina look off into the distance after visiting Justin Bobby or Lo roll her eyes at anything that doesn’t come out of her own mouth.

So yes, I have no doubt she’s  penniless. Oh well, guess she’s going to have to start pimping herself out for cash star in another reality show, or hey, maybe she’ll replace the new chick in Transformers 3 after Michael Bay realized what a huge mistake me made for passing up such an acting great.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

08
Jun
10

snapped.

Kourtney Kardashian trying not to be outdone by her babydaddy’s greasiness at his Birthday party this past weekend…

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03
Jun
10

kim’s back in business.

And by business I literally mean BUSINESS.

Do you know how much she made on her LAST sex tape? Back then she was Paris Hilton’s personal bag holder. Just think of all the $$ she’ll rake in if she came out with one now. You know, because she’s famous and all.

Anyways, she was snapped out on a date in El Lay with some dude whose not Black and I dunno if I like her hooking up with someone whose not an athlete. I have high standards for her. (Minus all that sex tape stuff I mean).

Weird right?

He’s sub par. But at least he won’t blend into the background when the cameras are rolling.

Oh I joke. I loves my KK. I honestly think she’s trying to get back at the shots of Reggie out with that cleaning lady tramp of his. She’s a mastermind, she is.

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03
Jun
10

as much as i hate him…

If I were a dude, I’d be pretty f*cking jealous.

After I high fived him a couple times and sent him a basket full of condoms that is.

Via TMZ,

Doug Reinhardt, aka Paris Hilton’s ex-boyfriend, aka heir to the frozen burrito fortune, has left Hiltie in the dust — cause he’s datin’ Miss World USA.

We’ve learned Doug has been spending “every night” for the past few weeks with Lane Lindell — a beauty queen who’s even getting a college education at the University of Georgia.

Paris will probably say, “She’s so 2008.”  And that’s true.  Miss World USA 2008.”

Man, Paris can brown herself to a crisp, dress herself in the skankiest designer threads, but the only way she’ll earn a crown is if it’s for the Most Demure Sl*t of the Century.

Not that this chick’s a saint or anything. She was a former Miss USA after all, so I guess her and Paris do have ONE thing in common.

All together now…

Herpes.

03
Jun
10

watch out now.

Oh man. And I thought the guy from Scream was scary. Ya’ll better watch out now. This guy is gonna make you shake in your shorts.

If I were Heidi, I’d hurry up and light that match already.

Via PopEater,

“A bearded Spencer Pratt took a woodsy run in Malibu yesterday, apparently dealing with his alleged split from Heidi Montag with some good old-fashioned exercise … complete with full camouflage, hiking gear and a walkie-talkie.

Montag’s new roommate Jen Bunney told PopEater yesterday, “Spencer is her husband and even though they are separating, he is a part of her life and she’s a part of his.”
The legitimacy of the Speidi split has been in question since … well, since the news broke. “It’s really just another one of Spencer’s publicity stunts,” a friend close to the situation, tells PopEater. Which would lend a whole lot of sense to these photos of a seemingly unhinged (or just seriously enthusiastic about beards/running?) Pratt. “It seems there’s no limits to what they will do for publicity,” our source said.

Montag’s sister, Holly, isn’t buying the breakup, either. “If anyone has come to expect anything from those two it’s that they are the liars,” she tweeted over the weekend.

“They really are still together,” our source says. “This will all be revealed in time. They aren’t going to separate. It’s all a part of Heidi’s new show.”

Man I’ve had it with these famewhores.

Any further comments regarding those two will only deem my post secondary education as OFFICIALLY useless.

The only reason I still watch The Hills is because Lo is besties with Lauren Conrad. And maybe, I mean, just maybe watching Lo on TV will allow for me to soak up some of the LC that might emenate from her. I’ll do anything to personify her, but as of late, it consists of making exorbitant purchases on items that only she can appreciate.

That’s it. Oh, and to drool over Brody Jenner. 

Hey, I have a thing for the douches. I’m even willing to put up with the unecessary banter of his minions for a good close up screen shot.

Here’s the rest of the PICS of Army Commander Pratt pretending to be on an important military assignment when really he’s running to refill his little canteen of Sunny D.

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God. I’d be ashamed to say I know this tool. But there’s no doubt that the people MOST embarassed here are each and every member of the United States Army Force.




Who you callin a TWIT?

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