Posts Tagged ‘Couples

12
Feb
10

would you hit it?

I mean not LITERALLY. Violence is NEVER the answer boys, and GIRLS

Apparently athletes, specifically BASEBALL players are hittin a lot more than the BALL lately.


The New York Times claims that:

Last weekend may have been about the Saints and the Colts, but Jets heartthrob Mark Sanchez still managed to steal one show in Miami. Our snowbird spy says the quarterback had lots of ladies fawning over him at a Maxim bash at the Raleigh Hotel on Saturday, but Sanchez had eyes for only one gal: “The Hills” star Kristin Cavallari.

“He was definitely all about Kristin,” the source dishes. “They even left together at the end of the night.”

K Cav knows what’s up.

B*tch doesn’t wanna fade into obscurity once The Jersey Shore crew scam all her viewers, the BEST way to stay relevant for her of course, is to BONE an athlete.

Or get naked.

Whatever works.


LC is Soooooo gonna be pissed at Lo.

04
Feb
10

picture of the day.

Songstress Brandy’s PROMO pic for her NEW VH1 show with brother Ray J….

I’m guessing from the positioning of her EYEBROWS, she’s finally seen the infamous sex tape.

02
Feb
10

Meet your maker.

The KK’s brought in new BAYBAY Mason Dash Disick to visit Ryan Seacrest, the GUY we have to thank for putting his Momma on screen in the first place.

This kid’ll be starring in his own REALITY show soon enough.

During the interview, Seacrest dimmed the lights, looked Kourtney in the eyes, ran a hand through his Pantene Pro V Do and asked her if the baby was ready to feed.

Dunno if he was more INTERESTED in seeing boob or if he was just missing his own Mother.

Ch-ch-check out the KK’s @ KISS102.7

Awe.

Kris’ll call anyone Uncle for a couple hundred grand an episode.

Love them.

28
Jan
10

Paper Chase.

So TMZ is reporting that the government owes Britney Spears and ex Kevin Federline approx. $50,000 due to a UNCLAIMED interest fund from when they were still MARRIED making sweet VIDEOS together.

Who needs it more?

Britney to invest in a BRA or K Well Fed to get himself a trainer and maybe even a RESPECTABLE career?

Hey, at least he’ll LOSE a couple pounds racing Britney for the cheque.

27
Jan
10

She’s with Coco.

So Will Ferrell’s WIFE gave birth after he FINISHED taping the “Free Bird” Farewell on Conan’s last show Friday

CoCo must be humbled.

She was probably so overcome with RAW emotion that she went into labor as a result.

Anyways, they didn’t name him Power Ranger or Twinkie as I would have thought Ferrell’s kin to be called (purely for the COMEDY)…

Instead he went the MUSICAL route and ended up naming the KID Axel, joining BIG bros Mattias and Magnus.

I’m sure the monniker had nothing to do with Will’s genius PARODIES.

 

24
Jan
10

Don’t Get Your Hopes Up…

That means you Jennifer Aniston.

The News of The World brought up a certain someone’s high hopes by REPORTING that Brangelina (or the Saviors of the Earth) had SPLIT up.

It was TOLD that the POWER couple were parting ways (after Angelina was caught making out with a 9mm) and that preparations had been underway since last month.

According to the snitch of the day,

“the document was signed in early January. Both Brad and Angelina had signed it. The contract was like a tailor-made version of a pre-nuptial agreement except for an unmarried couple’s split. It seemed clear they want the world to know they’ll both play a part in the upbringing of the children. But Angelina will actually be the one who lives with them full-time.”

Anyways, it’s not true.

The key to Angelina’s heart lives amongst the hairs in Brad’s billy goat gruff, and Jennifer Aniston just ended up wasting  a day at the salon.

23
Jan
10

There’s HOPE for US afterall…

This is like when your Mom oh so subtly informs you that that girl you used to go to elementary school with, who picked her nose and had a mouldy cubby hole just got hitched to some dude whose RICH as fu*ck in the Bahamas.

Seriously.

It’s EXACTLY like that.

Terror Tara Reid is REPORTEDLY engaged to an actual walking, talking human being. And he’s not that UGLAY or DESPERATE either…

He’s some kind of Internet entrepreneur (we all know what that MEANS) and his name is Michael Axtmann.

Actually NEVERMIND. Scratch what I said earlier about LOOKS.

This guy couldn’t be more HOMOSEXUAL if he full out asked Tara to trade boobies with him.

Anyways, her REP was more than please to spill the news, and mentioned that she got a massive round cut diamond ring and was proposed to at The Little Door Restaurant in LA.

What a waste of money.

She would have settled for a tummy tuck and a boob job no IF’S AND’S or BUT’S.




Who you callin a TWIT?

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