Posts Tagged ‘Heidi Montag


in case you hadn’t had enough…

Heidi Montag filed for SEPARATION today from her gypsy of a husband, Spencer Pratt.

The next time I hear ANY bit of gossip regarding these two, I hope it involves Heidi finally getting those Size H implants or Spencer overdosing on whatever the f*ck kind of drugs he’s on.

I wishing for the former only because I get more hits when posting about Heidi’s boobs. And it’ll be funny to watch her walk.

Via TMZ,

Heidi did not file divorce papers. The legal significance of legal separation is that her earnings will become her separate property from the date of separation. Heidi lists the date of separation as today, June 8.
Interesting … under the section, “community assets and debts,” Heidi wrote, “No such assets or debts.” It’s unclear if Heidi and Spencer have a prenup which keeps their assets separate, or if they’re broke.”

B*tch just transformed herself into motherf*cking Barbie. I doubt The Hills producers covered that fee. Although, if I was the director I would have just to make a funny.

No one wants to watch Audrina look off into the distance after visiting Justin Bobby or Lo roll her eyes at anything that doesn’t come out of her own mouth.

So yes, I have no doubt she’s  penniless. Oh well, guess she’s going to have to start pimping herself out for cash star in another reality show, or hey, maybe she’ll replace the new chick in Transformers 3 after Michael Bay realized what a huge mistake me made for passing up such an acting great.




watch out now.

Oh man. And I thought the guy from Scream was scary. Ya’ll better watch out now. This guy is gonna make you shake in your shorts.

If I were Heidi, I’d hurry up and light that match already.

Via PopEater,

“A bearded Spencer Pratt took a woodsy run in Malibu yesterday, apparently dealing with his alleged split from Heidi Montag with some good old-fashioned exercise … complete with full camouflage, hiking gear and a walkie-talkie.

Montag’s new roommate Jen Bunney told PopEater yesterday, “Spencer is her husband and even though they are separating, he is a part of her life and she’s a part of his.”
The legitimacy of the Speidi split has been in question since … well, since the news broke. “It’s really just another one of Spencer’s publicity stunts,” a friend close to the situation, tells PopEater. Which would lend a whole lot of sense to these photos of a seemingly unhinged (or just seriously enthusiastic about beards/running?) Pratt. “It seems there’s no limits to what they will do for publicity,” our source said.

Montag’s sister, Holly, isn’t buying the breakup, either. “If anyone has come to expect anything from those two it’s that they are the liars,” she tweeted over the weekend.

“They really are still together,” our source says. “This will all be revealed in time. They aren’t going to separate. It’s all a part of Heidi’s new show.”

Man I’ve had it with these famewhores.

Any further comments regarding those two will only deem my post secondary education as OFFICIALLY useless.

The only reason I still watch The Hills is because Lo is besties with Lauren Conrad. And maybe, I mean, just maybe watching Lo on TV will allow for me to soak up some of the LC that might emenate from her. I’ll do anything to personify her, but as of late, it consists of making exorbitant purchases on items that only she can appreciate.

That’s it. Oh, and to drool over Brody Jenner. 

Hey, I have a thing for the douches. I’m even willing to put up with the unecessary banter of his minions for a good close up screen shot.

Here’s the rest of the PICS of Army Commander Pratt pretending to be on an important military assignment when really he’s running to refill his little canteen of Sunny D.

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God. I’d be ashamed to say I know this tool. But there’s no doubt that the people MOST embarassed here are each and every member of the United States Army Force.


i’m sad. now look at my butt.

Sadface McBoyWhoCriedWolf was spotted wallowing in her tears in Malibu yesterday.

And her tears, marriage, ensuing divorce are as fake as her Double H’s.

We also see here, Jen Bunney whose following Heidi around wiping the saline leaking out of her a** her sorrows away with what looks like the initial paycheque for their upcoming REALITY show.

Apparently it’s about how fun and natural and honest they are. About all the trials and tribulations of living in LA and about all the mean people who are out to get them and their rob them of their wholesome personas the poor man’s version of The Hills.

Anyways, in case you don’t already have a case of BHD (Broken Heart Disease) and find it terribly unecessary to click through the pictures in case you suffer another attack, I bring you….

A Case Of The Sads: The Pictorial.

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oh the pain. oh the pain. now where are the paparazzi…?

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi…

Unless you stage a date with the paps to film you melting your upper body into a life sized candle for the benefit of conserving energy, no one wants to hear it.

Via US Weekly,

Talking to Us magazine, the “Hills” hottie’s rep tells, “Heidi is going through a difficult time and hopes people respect her privacy.”

Of the current situation, a friend of the couple tells that “there are no plans for divorce…they are going through some issues. It’s a hiccup.”

Meanwhile, it appears as if Miss Montag already has her living situation mapped out for the upcoming future, as her former “Hills” co-star Jennifer Bunney said, “Heidi and I are moving into a Malibu beach house this summer.”

Planning to shoot a new reality show with one another, Bunney adds, “We’re really excited to do girly things and show people who we really are and that we’re really fun, sweet and loyal girls.”

Not all that upset over her marital woes, Heidi tweeted post-split, “”This is going to be the best summer of my life!!!”

Jen Bunney?! Sweet and loyal?

I summon Lauren Conrad and all her inner spirit to SMFH.

Wait, actually, the only way that this living arrangement could be beneficial to the public is if they put Heidi’s t*ts on fire during a bonfire on the beach or something. For the 4th of July.

Now that’s something to take pictures of.



do i look good…..??

Spencer Pratt’s gonna find himself cuddling up to one of his crystals to keep him warm at night from now on. I mean, not that it’s different from the body, shape, consistency, and temperature of his other possession, Heidi.


Via TMZ,

“Heidi’s rep tells TMZ, “Heidi is looking to move out due to all the fake bad press that Spencer controls. She’s tired of it and is looking for a place and wants to focus on her acting career.”
We’re told Heidi is looking for a new place in Malibu.”


It’s about damn time. She might not be able to wake up every morning without having him tell her “no honey, you don’t look like Joan Rivers,” but at least she’ll learn to walk and talk without having someone push the START button first.

Omg. Maybe now people will look past her leathery exterior and blank expression and find it within their hearts to befriend her once again. Maybe her Mom will manage to actually look her in the face when having a conversation instead of burying her face in rosary beads.

Anyways, here’s some pics of the couple in happier times.

Kinda reminds me of that song…what was it again…?

Oh yeah, Put It In Ya Mouth.

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picture of the day.

This is all Heidi Montag had to do to audition to replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3.

And is it just me or would this role be perfect for her SOLELY due to the name of the movie?



Lo Bosworth at Planet Hollywood for some Cosmo Bikini Party thing.

Her cover up is just a dig at Heidi Montag. Everything is a dig at everyone with this chick.

She’d take a dig at her own Mother if it meant she could shake her head and “tsk tsk” afterwards.

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now you can talk.

So Megan Fox got FIRED from the 3rd installment of Transformers yesterday.

It’s probably because she started talking about her involuntary gas problem and how she’s so ugly that she can’t stand when people look at her, other than sticking to the script. Or because she called the director “Hitler.”

You pick.

Via Deadline Hollywood,

“No actor/actress can expect to go around dissing a director and expect to work together as if nothing happened. Much less the egotistical Bay. But in Fox, he had met his match. Why, as recently as this week Megan was quoted as dissing Bay yet again. In recent months she has shown off a more natural skin hue instead of her usual orange color — and blamed the Transformers helmer for her unhealthy tanning binge. “I had been tanning a lot so that Michael would be happy with my skin tone. Every spare moment of sun that was outside, I had to be in it,” the 24-year-old actress lamented in Allure magazine. “It’s not going to happen again because of the damage and the possible skin cancer.”

and WAIT. There’s more…


“Megan Fox

is seeking to transform rumor to fact.

The actress is slamming speculation she was booted from the third installment of the Transformers action film franchise.

“Megan Fox will not be starring in Transformers 3,” reps for the actress, 24, tell PEOPLE. “It was her decision not to return. She wishes the franchise the best.”

Citing unnamed sources, Variety reports the studio and the film’s director, Michael Bay, intend to cast another actress as star Shia LeBoeuf’s love interest to move the story in a different direction.”

“Michael Bay I love your work! I know what a artistic brilliant genius you are! Cast me in the next Transformers.” – Heidi Montag

No. No. Oh God no. Megan come back. Pick your nose, nitpick about how many bits of gravel are on the ground, tell Michael Bay to bend over and lick your a**. Just for the LOVE OF GOD come back.







the most normal people you’ll ever meet…

So Heidi Montag called the cops on her own mother yesterday.

She claims it’s because she had tore her heart out on national television.

No b*tch. That’s the doctor’s job.

Via PEOPLE magazine,

“Another day, another drama for Heidi Montag.

On Thursday, the Hills star called police after her mother, Darlene Egelhoff, arrived at her Los Angeles home.

“My mom showed up unannounced to my house when she knows I have no interest in seeing or talking with her,” Montag, 23, tells PEOPLE. “She tore my heart out on national television. She is just trying to create drama in my life.”

Los Angeles police confirm that Egelhoff came to her daughter’s house on Thursday and was turned away.

“Officers arrived on the scene and advised the mother that since her daughter’s an adult, she doesn’t have to speak to [the mom] if she doesn’t want to,” Los Angeles Police Department Sgt. Leffew tells PEOPLE. “The mother said ‘fine, no problem’ and left. There were no citations or arrests.”

And Montag says this isn’t the end of all the drama. “I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with her in my life right now,” she tells PEOPLE.

Continues Montag: “I’m sick to my stomach she would even do something like this. She needs to stay away from me. I’m planning on getting a restraining order against her.”

Calls to Egelhoff were not immediately returned.

Yes that’s just it. She just wants to save her daughter from morphing into a f*cking cat create drama for the least dramatic, over exaggerated couple of famwhores ever to walk the Earth.

God Heidi’s mom. Just let them go back to knitting cozies side by side in front of the fire. Poor Spencer just wants to cuddle, and Heidi just wants to formulate spawn make babies.

Oh and while his wife was asking the cops if they thought she was pretty, Spencer was busy keeping lookout in case his OWN parents dared cross into enemy territory…

You know.

Because they’d do what any sane minded set of parents would do…DISOWN him.

Via US Weekly,

“They noticed him changing two years ago and stayed by his side. But now it’s too much,” a source tells Us Weekly. “They even took the pictures of him out of their home.”
Us Weekly reports Spencer, 26, and Heidi, 23, have become virtual shut-ins at their $7,000-a-month rented L.A house, which is filled with framed covers of magazines on which they’ve appeared.
“No one ever visits,” a local tells Us, and the couple rarely leave. “Heidi sits and stares in the mirror, while Spencer plots and schemes on his projects all day,” adds a Pratt source. “He sits on the Internet, watches TV and tries to get press. That is all he does. It’s totally sick.”

The caption to this picture from PacificCoastNews reads:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Thursday May 13, 2010. **EXCLUSIVE** Spencer Pratt and his security team, a detail of three U.S. Marines, stand on watch outside the house he shares with Heidi Montag. Police had been called to the property earlier in the day when Heidi’s mother visited the house unexpectedly and reports say she refused to leave. One of the scurity team is retired Marine LCPL. Cougar Zank who was in the infantry was involved in anti tank weaponry who has recently been staying with the Pratts. He is helping Spencer write patriotic scripts. They are a good patriotic couple, the former Marine said.”

Took the words right outta my mouth.



Ok, ok, I don’t find Heidi a “whore” persay, but it was too good to resist.

Anyways, Spencer & Heidi (I’m surprised he hasn’t melted her into a crystal yet) are supposedly two of the DIRTIEST assholes around.

Not literally though, because I’m almost 100% sure that she doesn’t even have one anymore…

Via Life & Style,

The insider shares frightening never-before-seen photos of their actual home far from Hollywood in LA’s Pacific Palisades area. The kitchen and living room are filled with Spencer’s crystals, stacks of his screenplays and junk everywhere. “Their four dogs aren’t housebroken,” an insider tells Life & Style. “They go to the bathroom all over the house. Heidi is sometimes near tears at the dogs’ mess, but Spencer just orders her to pick it up.


Oh man. I’m all for Women’s Lib and all that, but can you picture that chick bending over to pick up dog sh*t without her massive rack causing some confusion…

Heidi: *bends over to pick up dog crap.*

Heidi: “Damnit where did it go?”

Spencer: “It’s right in front of you dear.”

Heidi: *stands up* “Oh there it is.”

Heidi: *bends over to pick up dog crap* “Damnit I lost it again.”

Spencer: “It’s right in front of you honey.”


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Who you callin a TWIT?

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On This Day

July 2020