Posts Tagged ‘Jessica Simpson

26
May
10

so it was how many hours on the treadmill…??

Check out this PIC of 50 Cent from Thisis50.com, for his upcoming role in Things Fall Apart.

“He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 with a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks.
“I was starving.” Now he’s back on tour and says, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time.”

F*ck.

I was trying to get more details when apparently the site crashed after Jessica Simpson kept going back to write down his diet regimine.

 

14
May
10

MOVE OVER JEREMY, I CAN’T REACH THE DONUT.

Apparently Jeremy Piven couldn’t take his eyes off the buffet table Jessica Simpson when she was on set to film a cameo for Entourage

Via US Weekly,

“In between takes, he was staring at Jessica’s ass in the most obvious of ways,” a witness tells UsMagazine.com. “He wasn’t being sly about it and would just watch her every move. He flirts with ugly girls, so you can imagine how crazy for Jessica Simpson he was. She almost seemed like she couldn’t wait to change into her jeans, but she was a good sport about it and kind of laughed it off.”

A good sport huh?

Sure, she’d be.

Anything to make sure she got to stay on set longer. Those buffet tables are HUGGGGGE!

 

 

 

 

 

12
May
10

picture of the day.

Jessica Simpson on the set of Entourage for her “cameo.”

I’m guessing it’s a pre-requesite that all women come to the set with their mouths in the waiting position…

03
May
10

well golly, I thought there were gonna be corndogs…

Here’s another case of when “door attendants need to be dragged into the street and shot.”

This case involves Jessica Simpson being somehow invited to the White House Correspondents’ Assoc. Dinner over the weekend.

I have a feeling she stumbled across the invitation and maybe thought it was for a Corndog eating contest or something, because otherwise it just DOESN’T make sense to me.

Anyways, Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian were there too, so I’m guessing half the guestlist was probably the President’s attempt to welcome people of all walks of LIFE, and IQ standings, his ratings are already down, and nothing gets good press like Justin Bieber trying to feel up Kim K’s booty pads.

Anyways, what really provides for a good guffaw is the following interview:

Jessica Simpson to PEOPLE Magazine, on wanting to be Michelle Obama:

“I really do,” Simpson told PEOPLE before the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington, D.C., Saturday. “She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man.”
What does Simpson admire most about the First Lady? “Everything she does she exudes confidence,” says the singer.

What the f*ck?

Michelle Obama’s goals are focused around supporting her husband and instilling political confidence in the American people, while Jessica’s goals are probably focused on trying not to fart everytime she’s faced with some sort of human interaction.

Yes, the role of First Lady is just made for her.

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Too bad Michelle was too classy to use Jessica as a spokesmodel for her efforts in curbing childhood obesity.

The President: “Hey wouldn’t it be funny if we used that fat girl, Simpleton, whatever her name is, to tell the Americans to cut back on Value Meals?”

Michelle: “Shame on you Barack, shame on you. She’s a lovely young woman.” Besides, I’ve already arranged to have our photographers take full, profile, ass and panoramic shots of Gabourey Sidibe. Especially when she hits the buffet table.

The President: “Baa Haa Haa Ha, oh the chubby ones always make me laugh.”

 

 

 

 

03
May
10

picture of the day.

Holy sh*t.

I wanna be on whatever DIET Jessica Simpson is on because b*tch is looking SKINNY!

Do tell us your secrets Jess, do TELL

*I’m so going to Hell for this.

13
Apr
10

that’s nice. but where are your boobs?

Jessica Simpson posted a TWITPIC of her “new hairdo,” over the weekend.

It’s a wig. Apparently she got bored of ordering peanuts on the plane and instead decided to model Ken Paves’ various hairpieces.

None of you care because this picture does not DISPLAY her rack.

Perverts… You’re all perverts.

07
Apr
10

mariah stole my makeup.

Hmm, I guess Mariah was preparing for an UPCOMING shoot in the next few weeks*, because poor Jessica Simpson had to go SANS makeup and Photoshop for her shoot with Marie Claire

“I don’t have anything to prove anymore. What other people think of me is not my business.”

I’m guessing her eyeliner and lipgloss are made of dirt and puddles of water?

B*tch please.

Ok, ok, all JOKES aside I think this was very BRAVE of her and that she should be commended for it. She looks gorg.

But I doubt it can get more EMBARASSING after people have watched you pee, act like a complete moron, and wear FAT pants on a National level.

Other than that, you go girl!

 

*Yes it takes Mariah approx. 12 days to put her face on.




Who you callin a TWIT?

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