Posts Tagged ‘Michelle Obama

03
May
10

well golly, I thought there were gonna be corndogs…

Here’s another case of when “door attendants need to be dragged into the street and shot.”

This case involves Jessica Simpson being somehow invited to the White House Correspondents’ Assoc. Dinner over the weekend.

I have a feeling she stumbled across the invitation and maybe thought it was for a Corndog eating contest or something, because otherwise it just DOESN’T make sense to me.

Anyways, Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian were there too, so I’m guessing half the guestlist was probably the President’s attempt to welcome people of all walks of LIFE, and IQ standings, his ratings are already down, and nothing gets good press like Justin Bieber trying to feel up Kim K’s booty pads.

Anyways, what really provides for a good guffaw is the following interview:

Jessica Simpson to PEOPLE Magazine, on wanting to be Michelle Obama:

“I really do,” Simpson told PEOPLE before the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington, D.C., Saturday. “She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man.”
What does Simpson admire most about the First Lady? “Everything she does she exudes confidence,” says the singer.

What the f*ck?

Michelle Obama’s goals are focused around supporting her husband and instilling political confidence in the American people, while Jessica’s goals are probably focused on trying not to fart everytime she’s faced with some sort of human interaction.

Yes, the role of First Lady is just made for her.

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Too bad Michelle was too classy to use Jessica as a spokesmodel for her efforts in curbing childhood obesity.

The President: “Hey wouldn’t it be funny if we used that fat girl, Simpleton, whatever her name is, to tell the Americans to cut back on Value Meals?”

Michelle: “Shame on you Barack, shame on you. She’s a lovely young woman.” Besides, I’ve already arranged to have our photographers take full, profile, ass and panoramic shots of Gabourey Sidibe. Especially when she hits the buffet table.

The President: “Baa Haa Haa Ha, oh the chubby ones always make me laugh.”

 

 

 

 

09
Mar
10

who wants ribs for dinner…?

Poshie Pooh recently told Fox PopTarts that nothing would excite her more than to dress Michelle Obama, not even the invention of Diet Water.

“I would love to dress Mrs. Obama absolutely absolutely absolutely! I just think she’s incredible and she’s a very strong woman and she’s beautiful. I love women and I just want to make women feel good and beautiful and it’s just been a huge compliment that ladies have enjoyed wearing my dresses and they look great! It just goes to show they can flatter women of all different shapes and sizes, all different heights, and that’s what it’s about. It’s about creating an illusion and having a great cut.”

Victoria still thinks that the range of -5 to 0 is a wide range of “different shapes and sizes.” She probably thinks that the bleeding from her hip bones from bumping into sh*t is considered normal.

Typical situation…

Michelle: Oh these children’s tops are just lovely!

Posh: Those aren’t children’s tops ma’am.

Michelle: Oh the pant legs on these things are just a horror to pull on.

Posh: Those are sweater sleeves ma’am.

Michelle: No this toothpick, bugeyed, bobble headed b*tch did NOT come up into the White House to call me fat. Cook! Get out the BBQ sauce. We’re havin RIBS for dinner.

 

 

 

05
Mar
10

PRESIDENT JIGGAMAN

Here’s Jay Z, Beyonce’ and whole family making themselves COMFORTABLE at the White House

Beyonce’ to Tina:

“No Mom, the First Lady will NOT be caught dead in a House of Dereon outfit. Stop trying to hustle the President.

How does my weave look?”

 

23
Jan
10

Scott Baio is getting bi*ch slapped…

 Man.

First Lady, Michelle Obama (in case you weren’t aware) is up and at em’ flexing those killer biceps of her with intention of JETTING over to this fool’s house to wish him a GOOD FU*KING MORNING.

 

The REPUBLICAN probably has his panties in a bunch after his wife RAGS on him everyday for being a washed out boy of the yesteryears… 

Anyways, this FOOL is already RECIEVING death threats… 

 

Really though?

These bi*ches just don’t learn from other people’s DUMB mistakes do they?

I mean I can Tweet whatever the fu*k I want, and no one gives a sh*t because, to tell you the truth, my follower list is MENIAL if that.

When your FEW fans consist of half the world’s overweight housewives who want to BONE you only because you were cute on Happy Days, and call in to SELF magazine for tips on how to get arms like the First Lady on your list of followers, it’s best not to piss them off

 




Who you callin a TWIT?

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