Posts Tagged ‘Ronnie Magro

07
Jun
10

but why…??

The only reason these fools were allowed anywhere other than at a tanning salon is because its MTV. And MTV would let a pack of starving wolves in if they made them money. Truth is though, they’d be less entertaining to watch. And wolves don’t have fake boobs.

Otherwise after being DENIED entry, J Woww would sadly have had to return her dress to LA Clubwear for the lowly $20 she spent on it.

Hey $20 = how many tanning minutes?

Anyways, I’m guessing they weren’t even there for the full awards show last night. Snooki was probably busy trying to seduce the guy at the concession for extra butter on her popcorn while The Situation was occupied by trying to bone his date in the arena without anyone seeing.

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26
May
10

your daily sigh.

O M Jesus.

They’re here.

The PICS that you’ve been DYING to see. The PICS that that supermodel Noemie felt she had to kill herself over. How can any WOMAN measure up to this sh*t?!

I might as well f*ck the gym and have a Twinkie. There’s no hope for me after sexy women like this grace our Nation.

Behold, for you have NEVER seen beauty like this before…

Joking.

It’s just Sammi Sweetheart frolicking lurking around Miami.

Hey don’t be mad. I could have posted those pics of Snooki humping a slice of pizza.*

*No those aren’t open to the public, but it’s only a matter of time till they surface.

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13
Apr
10

gui-don’t.

Here I thought Bar Rafeali was a classy lady, all refined and stuff, even half naked, she always has this wholesomeness about her.

But after seeing her chomp on The Situation’s hoagie, I somehow feel really dirty looking at her in her underwear. But it probably has more to do with the fact he actually unzipped his pants.

That Mike takes initiative.

Anyways, props to these idiots for getting a GIG with someone who isn’t a BLOWUP doll.

09
Apr
10

take it b*tch.

Here’s Wonnie Wagro getting a wittle TATTOO in Miami with his girls waiting around to wipe his tears.

Awww.

(Yes, I die a little posting about The Jersey Wh*res but oddly enough Snooki Ass and Pauly D tan gets me the most HITS).

07
Apr
10

you missed a spot…lemme get that for you.

You know…after watching Pauly D try and stick it in Mike’s leftovers, and Ronnie brag about wanting to BONE every living creature on the Boardwalk I really FIGURED these Tools were, oh I dunno,into CHICKS.

After seeing these PICTURES of them scurrying around at the TANNING salon giggling about hair gel in their tighty whiteys, I’m thinking that they might be for the Gays.

But I guess having to deal with the Syph every Sunday morning will do that to a dude.

 

Poor Vinny. He decided to BAKE in the sun after going into the beds only to end up slipping through the cracks.

MTV needs to stop spending their funds on PRE DRINKING allowances for J Woww and Snooki before they hit the clubs, maybe that way lil Vinny’ll have a shot at the juice too.

06
Apr
10

get out the yellow tape…

The streets of Miami are surprisingly EMPTY this week…

Could be due to the fact that girls aged 16-36 are getting shots and stocking up on condoms from the Free Clinic before the cast of The Jersey Shore sets up shop…

Honestly though, if I were the Dad of a young teenage girl I’d make sure quit my day job and DEVOTE my life to making sure the only beach time she got was on the f*cking porch in a kiddie pool.

Dad: We’re going to the doctor’s office honey.

Girl: But why Dad??

Dad: You know that boob job you’ve been begging for??

Girl: Oh Thank You Daddy! Thank You Thank You Thank You!

Dad: *Drives to clinic*

Girl: Hey! This isn’t the surgeon’s office!

Dad: Doctor, make sure you close that thing up REAL tight.

Yeah, he’d better get his wife in there too before she gets herself into a SITUATION.

Ha.

 

Oh, and as for the boys…

Your best bet is to just f*ck it and go for the Sex Change.

Snooki can sniff out a juicehead faster than she can swallow a pickle whole.

16
Mar
10

pauly d’s gonna have to tie his hands up…

The host of the after show for The Jersey Shore, Julissa Bermudez has a SPREAD in the upcoming Source Magazine & she looks kinda hot…

…like she should be doing a little more than INQUIRING as to why The Situation plucks his eyebrows a certain way, and why Ronnie laughs like a 13 year old girl.

Really.

No one wants to have to wipe tanning oil and dribble off their Jimmy Choos.




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