Posts Tagged ‘Surgical Horrors

27
May
10

picture of the day.

This is all Heidi Montag had to do to audition to replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3.

And is it just me or would this role be perfect for her SOLELY due to the name of the movie?

14
May
10

the most normal people you’ll ever meet…

So Heidi Montag called the cops on her own mother yesterday.

She claims it’s because she had tore her heart out on national television.

No b*tch. That’s the doctor’s job.

Via PEOPLE magazine,

“Another day, another drama for Heidi Montag.

On Thursday, the Hills star called police after her mother, Darlene Egelhoff, arrived at her Los Angeles home.

“My mom showed up unannounced to my house when she knows I have no interest in seeing or talking with her,” Montag, 23, tells PEOPLE. “She tore my heart out on national television. She is just trying to create drama in my life.”

Los Angeles police confirm that Egelhoff came to her daughter’s house on Thursday and was turned away.

“Officers arrived on the scene and advised the mother that since her daughter’s an adult, she doesn’t have to speak to [the mom] if she doesn’t want to,” Los Angeles Police Department Sgt. Leffew tells PEOPLE. “The mother said ‘fine, no problem’ and left. There were no citations or arrests.”

And Montag says this isn’t the end of all the drama. “I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with her in my life right now,” she tells PEOPLE.

Continues Montag: “I’m sick to my stomach she would even do something like this. She needs to stay away from me. I’m planning on getting a restraining order against her.”

Calls to Egelhoff were not immediately returned.

Yes that’s just it. She just wants to save her daughter from morphing into a f*cking cat create drama for the least dramatic, over exaggerated couple of famwhores ever to walk the Earth.

God Heidi’s mom. Just let them go back to knitting cozies side by side in front of the fire. Poor Spencer just wants to cuddle, and Heidi just wants to formulate spawn make babies.

Oh and while his wife was asking the cops if they thought she was pretty, Spencer was busy keeping lookout in case his OWN parents dared cross into enemy territory…

You know.

Because they’d do what any sane minded set of parents would do…DISOWN him.

Via US Weekly,

“They noticed him changing two years ago and stayed by his side. But now it’s too much,” a source tells Us Weekly. “They even took the pictures of him out of their home.”
Us Weekly reports Spencer, 26, and Heidi, 23, have become virtual shut-ins at their $7,000-a-month rented L.A house, which is filled with framed covers of magazines on which they’ve appeared.
“No one ever visits,” a local tells Us, and the couple rarely leave. “Heidi sits and stares in the mirror, while Spencer plots and schemes on his projects all day,” adds a Pratt source. “He sits on the Internet, watches TV and tries to get press. That is all he does. It’s totally sick.”

The caption to this picture from PacificCoastNews reads:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Thursday May 13, 2010. **EXCLUSIVE** Spencer Pratt and his security team, a detail of three U.S. Marines, stand on watch outside the house he shares with Heidi Montag. Police had been called to the property earlier in the day when Heidi’s mother visited the house unexpectedly and reports say she refused to leave. One of the scurity team is retired Marine LCPL. Cougar Zank who was in the infantry was involved in anti tank weaponry who has recently been staying with the Pratts. He is helping Spencer write patriotic scripts. They are a good patriotic couple, the former Marine said.”

Took the words right outta my mouth.

12
May
10

whoreders.

Ok, ok, I don’t find Heidi a “whore” persay, but it was too good to resist.

Anyways, Spencer & Heidi (I’m surprised he hasn’t melted her into a crystal yet) are supposedly two of the DIRTIEST assholes around.

Not literally though, because I’m almost 100% sure that she doesn’t even have one anymore…

Via Life & Style,

The insider shares frightening never-before-seen photos of their actual home far from Hollywood in LA’s Pacific Palisades area. The kitchen and living room are filled with Spencer’s crystals, stacks of his screenplays and junk everywhere. “Their four dogs aren’t housebroken,” an insider tells Life & Style. “They go to the bathroom all over the house. Heidi is sometimes near tears at the dogs’ mess, but Spencer just orders her to pick it up.

Hahahaha.

Oh man. I’m all for Women’s Lib and all that, but can you picture that chick bending over to pick up dog sh*t without her massive rack causing some confusion…

Heidi: *bends over to pick up dog crap.*

Heidi: “Damnit where did it go?”

Spencer: “It’s right in front of you dear.”

Heidi: *stands up* “Oh there it is.”

Heidi: *bends over to pick up dog crap* “Damnit I lost it again.”

Spencer: “It’s right in front of you honey.”

Repeat.

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05
May
10

i have no other choice…

(Insert Lo Bosworth OMG here___________).

Poor Heidi.

In recent revelations of Spencer Pratt’s sh*tcrazy ramblings, she’s just so damn frightened for her life that she’s decided to get bigger t*ts.

She feels that the ONLY way to close him out is to enhance her already HUGE rack so that he won’t be able to approach her because of the enormity of it all.

Have you ever tried hugging someone with t*ts pushing into you like torpedos? I think not.

Via Life & Style,

“I try to stop her,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “She wants her doctor to come over once a week to plump up her lips. I keep telling her that they’re big enough and that she doesn’t need it.”
So what put her over the edge? Spencer tells Life & Style about an off-the-cuff remark from Ryan Seacrest during a visit to his LA radio station on April 5 that shattered Heidi’s world. “When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn’t look that big to him,” Spencer, who was standing just a few feet from his wife at the time, says. Although Ryan’s comment was clearly meant to compliment Heidi and calm any preshow jitters she may have had before her early morning interview, his words took on a twisted meaning in her mind. “She was taken aback,” Spencer says. “She came home in shock.”

See.

We all make fun of this chick, but in all honesty, the poor girl is trying her hardest to come up with tactics to save her life. It’s hard when you have the people over at  Mattel hollowing out your brain and melting it down to make fake va*inas.

 

29
Apr
10

heidi montag is a crackhead.

Okay, she’s not, but she’s addicted to PAINKILLERS, and picturing a crackhead with boobs the size of 2 grocery bags filled with pork rinds is amusing to me…

Via InTouch,

“She isn’t all there when you speak to her.” According to a medical source, doctors would have prescribed painkillers such as Demerol, Vicodin and Percocet to Heidi after she had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day in November. “She said she was in so much pain — at times it was unbearable,” the pal says. “She had to keep taking pills, or else it would have been too hard to handle.”
But some friends worry that she continued to take drugs long after the pain went away. And they think the pills may be responsible for the Hills star’s bizarre behavior.

Call me crazy but this b*tch was pretty GONE even before her transformation. I actually figured she did this to match the size of her brain. I mean Barbie’s kinda small, sure she was a surgeon, nurse, officer of the peace, and a nun, but she had a small brain nonetheless.

Heidi’s decision to downgrade herself to match the size of her brain might have been the most considerate thing she’s done in her lifetime.

“See mama, Heidi did a good.

“A what honey?”

“A good.”

“Sorry what?”

“Mama, my jaw is locked real tight remember.”

 

26
Apr
10

i might have acted a fool, but snooki’s stumpy.

You know, all those times Ive accidently flashed a crowded room, passed out on someone’s lawn in the rain, or worn a less than flattering outfit are meaningless.

Only because pictures like these, of Snooki & J Woww make my public blunders seem OH SO VERY menial…

Kinda makes me wish I didn’t blame all those mishaps on my twin sister. Who doesn’t exist.

That’s a whole other issue, but if you wanna feel REAL good about yourself today click through the pictures…

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23
Apr
10

heidi montag, oh wise one…

Apparently Lady Gaga is unhappy with her body.

Well, you would be too when you had to keep your pe*nis from falling out of your bodysuit.

Via The Showbiz Spy,

“According to Britain’s Now magazine, the Bad Romance singer — whose real name is Stefani Germanotta — is feeling so down about herself, she’s planning to go under the knife in a desperate bid to beat her depression.

“She’s desperately unhappy but keeps talking about having thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery. She really thinks that could fix everything. She’s in a really bad way right now. She puts up such a guard that no one ever really knows what she’s feeling. She thinks she looks too manly and spends hours looking at herself.

“She’s thinking about a whole host of cosmetic procedures, including a nose job, cheek implants, boob job and thigh and bum lift. She’s completely preoccupied with overhauling her looks. Everyone’s worried about her and is begging her to take a break and get some perspective and work on her self-confidence. She could be relaxing, but she won’t slow down.”

Poor Gaga. No wonder she dresses up as creature’s that only James Cameron can get turned on by.

 

 




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