Posts Tagged ‘Tiger Woods


you’ll need a lot more than a cigarette…

Charlie Sheen is worried that he won’t be able to light up while in the slammer for his short stint for showing his wife how much he loves her with his backhand.

What he SHOULD  be worried about is how he’s going to save his a**hole from getting lit up…

Via US Weekly,

a source tells Us [Charlie’s] most worried about being able to smoke behind bars. The actor’s criminal defense attorney, Richard Cummins, has been asking local law enforcement if they’d be willing to make an exception to the jail’s no-smoking policy. Authorities say they aren’t likely to make an exception to the no-smoking rule, which has been in effect for 10 to 15 years. 

The Two and a Half Men star, 44, is likely to end up in Aspen’s Pitkin County Jail, which allows nicotine patches for inmates. Nicotine gum is not allowed to prevent gum from ruining the carpet. Us has learned that the Aspen County District Attorney has offered Sheen a plea deal that would put him behind bars for 45 days, but prosecutors would drop the felony charge in return for Sheen pleading guilty to a misdemeanor.

He should just man up and plead guilty. There’s gonna be a lot of depressed hookers around and Tiger Woods needs to focus on his A game.



forgive me for this one…

Rachel Uchitel (one of the first hoes that Tiger Woods drove his club through) is saying stuff about David Boreanaz, because David Boreanaz cheated on his wife.

This b*tch’ll be opening her trap everytime some random celeb is caught cheating. She’s like the Yoda of whores.

Via TMZ,

“David Boreanaz is not part of my life, nor will he be. I am not in communication with him and do not wish to be.
“I have made no claims against him and do not plan to assert any. Any statements to the contrary are false and I hope that this statement will finally end any speculation about this issue.
“I am looking forward to a life that is not filled with scandal, rumor, innuendo or false statements about me. I will not have any further comment regarding David Boreanaz.”

My nips hard money makes.  Hmmmmmm.




the lifestyles of the f*cked up and delusional…

Here’s Jenna Jameson with what is supposed to be a broken arm…

The next time I get the sh*t kicked out of me, I’m going to try SMIZING more, seems like it works wonders…

The NY Daily Times is saying that Tiger Wood’s ex whore, Joslyn James, slept with Tito Otiz as well (what a surprise) and that he was a sh*tshow around her too.

“I saw three separate situations myself,” James, a friend of Jameson’s, told the Daily News. “They would be partying, and she wouldn’t do anything in particular to set him off.”

Sure it happened while she was tied to the bed with barb wire awaiting her turn, but a witness is a witness…

Meanwhile TMZ is reporting that Tito’s lawyer has evidence that Jenna isn’t the perfect angel everyone thinks she is is a f*ckup…

“We have witnesses and evidence,” said Ortiz’s lawyer Chip Matthew. “She underwent private rehab at home, and family and friends participated.”
Matthews said Ortiz found two pills in Jameson’s pants pocket and said “I’m out of here” when she responded with an excuse.
“He meant he needed a day or two without talking, but she went ballistic,” the lawyer said.”

I say the case was AIRTIGHT in Jenna’s favor after the MISTRESS spoke.

High powered lawyers schmoyers.




somebody’s jealous they don’t have nice sh*t.

I took yesterday off because I felt like Britney Spears must FEEL like when she sees pictures of herself BEFORE they’ve been PHOTOSHOPPED.

For those who care, I’m back in fighting shape now and can’t wait to post the pictures of that Macy’s mannequin that almost caused a flood of hot wax by melting in the sun this past weekend in Vegas.

So anyways,

Jim Carey is supposedly lost in on Twitter because he no longer can COMFORTABLY dress up in Jenny McCarthy’s bathing suits anymore. In his sh*t fit, he targeted Elin Woods, mainly because she ‘s gifted with expensive sh*t to stay depressed and all he has to comfort him is Valium.

– Tiger Woods owes nothing 2 anyone but himself. 2 please his father he gave up his childhood and his freedom in the world. That’s enough!—>
– No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity. Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason. kids/lifestyle ;^)

– @JimCarrey. Who r u to attack Tiger Wood’s innocent wife Elin? YOU CREEP!!Jenny mightve been INTO SEX groups. Elin was home w. her babes. 😦
– @eyssogreen That’s a cop out Gail. No woman just stays at home with the kids anymore. Tiger was wrong and Elin was ignoring the obvious ;^)

Someone give Jim a brand new house and a pat on the back for Ace Ventura and let’s put a stop to this nonsense. Elin has better things to do. Like spit shine her new earrings.




just wanted to borrow a pinch of sugar.

You knowwww.


*wink wink*

RadarOnline is reporting that Tiger Woods boned his 21 year old neighbor.

 Coudriet is now 22 and recently confronted Tiger when all his mistresses were revealed because she was furious that she was just another conquest, according to the new issue of the National Enquirer.
The Enquirer says that Tiger and Raychel began making out within sight of his house while Elin was home. They then had sex in a private office Tiger keeps nearby.
And, staying true to his pattern with other women, Tiger texted Raychel repeatedly after their tryst. But, according to the report, she felt guilty about having sex with a married man and never got back together with him.

You know, this comes as a SHOCK considering he’s such a DEVOTED husband and upstanding ROLE model for today’s troubled youth.



quiet on the green b*tches.

Imagine watching 34807 whores climbing over each other’s Wet Seal clad asses while using their cheap acrylics to claw each other’s eyes out in order to get a good spot in front of the cameras.

No, no no, shame on you. The Kardashian sisters do NOT wear Wet Seal.

But this is what you can expect during the Masters. Which is another reason why Elin Nordgren couldn’t be bothered to show up, with the main reason being of course that she doesn’t trust herself with all those golf clubs sitting around.

Via HollywoodLife,

“She did not even say goodbye to Tiger,” one insider told RadarOnline.
Could Elin’s absence have anything to do with the fact that several of Tiger’s ‘kittens’ (aka mistresses) like Joslyn James and Jaimee Grubbs are meant to show at the tourney? The Sunday Mail reported that the 34-year-old golf pro was so worried that he hired an additional 90 members of security to the 200 already stationed on the green.”

Gee thanks extra security.

Watching some chick rub up on a golf club while winking in Tiger’s direction would have made it a whole lot easier to sit through a game of golf.


*Those stains on his shirt aren’t really helping him out any.




haha i f*cking hate jews! haha just kidding!

Oh Jesse James.

You CAD you.

Apparently Jesse James’ well paid lawyer is LAUGHING off the photo of him acting Nazi and sh*t.

Via CNN,

The hat may have been in poor taste, but it was given to James as a gag gift by his Jewish godfather, attorney Joe Yanny said.
Possessing Nazi memorabilia does not make someone a neo-Nazi, he said.
As evidence that James is no anti-Semite, Yanny said James lived for nearly a month in an Israeli kibbutz.”

On the other side of town, Elin Nordegren is whacking Tiger Woods is whacking himself with a golf club for not hiring this guy first.



all hail the head wh*re.

Damn that Rachel Uchitel.

B*tch might have boned with Tiger Woods, but she did so with the utmost respect for the economy.

Via TMZ,

There were numerous reports Rachel settled on the brink of holding a Gloria Allred-style news conference for anywhere between $2 – 5 million.

But our sources — and they are good — tell TMZ Tiger was so concerned with the depth and detail of information from Alleged Mistress #1 that they folded like a cheap suit, and offered the huge $10 million sum in return for an ironclad confidentiality agreement.

TMZ has learned the actual settlement could fluctuate $1 million either way, depending on future circumstances. But the baseline is $10 mil.

Compare Rachel’s settlement with what other A.M’s received, if they got anything at all. We’re told several mistresses got several hundred thousand dollars, and others got nothing. That speaks volumes about how much Rachel knows.

See. Rachel here figured if she can extort bajillions of dollars from a world renowned golf star it would give hope all the whores out there. No longer would they have to shake their t*tties for money (well you know what I mean) and no longer would they have to cash their checks at MoneyMart in hopes of finally putting a down payment on those new ass implants.

Just think of what they can do with that money. Start a business, buy a home, invest, get a degree.

Buy a new pair of t*ts.

So thank you Rachel. Womenkind SALUTES you.

*golf claps*


vanity affair.

Wow. You know you’ve made it as a world class ho when you get to spread your legs in the pages of Vanity Fair

4 of Tiger Wood’s bad habits are singing louder than he ever made them sing in an interview with the magazine, with accompanying spread in the May issue…

Here’s a couple of quotes that are making Tiger regret he ever took a liking for golf…

On splurging on them:

Mindy Lawton says the only thing he ever bought for her was a chicken wrap from Subway (he was stopping there on his way to meet her).

On his gambling boys:
“When Tiger showed up in Vegas, he was always with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley,” according to Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist Norm Clarke. Years earlier, however, John Merchant had warned Woods to avoid Jordan and Barkley, saying of Jordan, “Stay away from that son of a bitch, because he doesn’t have anything to offer to the fucking world in which he lives except playing basketball.” Merchant adds, “Are they his black role models? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

On the tell tale tampon:

Although she was menstruating, he insisted on having sex with her, but when the key card to access his office didn’t work, he drove to a nearby parking lot, where they had sex in his car. After they left, Lawton claims, reporters from The National Enquirer, who had been following her, picked up the tampon she had dropped in the parking lot, and later threatened to use it as part of a story exposing Woods’s infidelity.

The only thing I got out of this that was worth mentioning again is that Tiger fuels up on Subway before engaging in S&M.

I mean, I figured he’d sit down for a 6 course meal or something to build up his stamina.

Who else finds this weird?




it’s a good day for Tiger Woods.

Say farewell to Jesse James, and wish him many blue balled nights because he’s pulled a Tiger and checked himself into SEX Rehab

According to TMZ,

We have now learned from our law enforcement sources that James was specific — that he was going to a rehab facility in Tucson.
A TMZ producer called Sierra Tucson and spoke with a therapist, who told us Jesse was at the facility and in fact had a 6 PM treatment Tuesday night.

Wonder what kind of “treatments” they give you.

…a surefire way to never want to have sex again is to be shown something like this:

Just a suggestion.

Who you callin a TWIT?

Picture Of The Day


The Vault

On This Day

December 2020