Posts Tagged ‘US Weekly

01
Jun
10

oh the pain. oh the pain. now where are the paparazzi…?

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi…

Unless you stage a date with the paps to film you melting your upper body into a life sized candle for the benefit of conserving energy, no one wants to hear it.

Via US Weekly,

Talking to Us magazine, the “Hills” hottie’s rep tells, “Heidi is going through a difficult time and hopes people respect her privacy.”

Of the current situation, a friend of the couple tells that “there are no plans for divorce…they are going through some issues. It’s a hiccup.”

Meanwhile, it appears as if Miss Montag already has her living situation mapped out for the upcoming future, as her former “Hills” co-star Jennifer Bunney said, “Heidi and I are moving into a Malibu beach house this summer.”

Planning to shoot a new reality show with one another, Bunney adds, “We’re really excited to do girly things and show people who we really are and that we’re really fun, sweet and loyal girls.”

Not all that upset over her marital woes, Heidi tweeted post-split, “”This is going to be the best summer of my life!!!”

Jen Bunney?! Sweet and loyal?

I summon Lauren Conrad and all her inner spirit to SMFH.

Wait, actually, the only way that this living arrangement could be beneficial to the public is if they put Heidi’s t*ts on fire during a bonfire on the beach or something. For the 4th of July.

Now that’s something to take pictures of.

 

27
May
10

damn. i’m out.

Great. I really didn’t think I was going to lose on a bet that involved Lindsay LOLohan sawing off her ankle with a nail file within a few hours of getting it.

I swear the Universe is out of whack.

Via US Weekly,

Being shackled with an alcohol-monitoring anklet doesn’t mean Lindsay Lohan won’t try to tipple. A source says the actress, 23, who wore one in 2007, has claimed she “put tea tree oil on to fool it.”

Says Pasadena Recovery Center’s Shirley Bennett, “Addicts will use anything with alcohol to set it off, so they can say, ‘Oh, I wasn’t drinking. It’s my perfume!'”

Another Lohan strategy: using a paperclip to jam the signal. (She denied both strategies to UsMagazine.com.). But L.A. criminal defense attorney Decio Rangel Jr. notes: “She could go to jail” if caught.”

Hmm did anyone stop to think that maybe she WANTS to go to jail?

How many b*tches have the same haircut and bone structure as Samantha Ronson in the joint?

Endless. It’s like the Playboy Mansion for lesbians without standards.

 

14
May
10

the most normal people you’ll ever meet…

So Heidi Montag called the cops on her own mother yesterday.

She claims it’s because she had tore her heart out on national television.

No b*tch. That’s the doctor’s job.

Via PEOPLE magazine,

“Another day, another drama for Heidi Montag.

On Thursday, the Hills star called police after her mother, Darlene Egelhoff, arrived at her Los Angeles home.

“My mom showed up unannounced to my house when she knows I have no interest in seeing or talking with her,” Montag, 23, tells PEOPLE. “She tore my heart out on national television. She is just trying to create drama in my life.”

Los Angeles police confirm that Egelhoff came to her daughter’s house on Thursday and was turned away.

“Officers arrived on the scene and advised the mother that since her daughter’s an adult, she doesn’t have to speak to [the mom] if she doesn’t want to,” Los Angeles Police Department Sgt. Leffew tells PEOPLE. “The mother said ‘fine, no problem’ and left. There were no citations or arrests.”

And Montag says this isn’t the end of all the drama. “I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with her in my life right now,” she tells PEOPLE.

Continues Montag: “I’m sick to my stomach she would even do something like this. She needs to stay away from me. I’m planning on getting a restraining order against her.”

Calls to Egelhoff were not immediately returned.

Yes that’s just it. She just wants to save her daughter from morphing into a f*cking cat create drama for the least dramatic, over exaggerated couple of famwhores ever to walk the Earth.

God Heidi’s mom. Just let them go back to knitting cozies side by side in front of the fire. Poor Spencer just wants to cuddle, and Heidi just wants to formulate spawn make babies.

Oh and while his wife was asking the cops if they thought she was pretty, Spencer was busy keeping lookout in case his OWN parents dared cross into enemy territory…

You know.

Because they’d do what any sane minded set of parents would do…DISOWN him.

Via US Weekly,

“They noticed him changing two years ago and stayed by his side. But now it’s too much,” a source tells Us Weekly. “They even took the pictures of him out of their home.”
Us Weekly reports Spencer, 26, and Heidi, 23, have become virtual shut-ins at their $7,000-a-month rented L.A house, which is filled with framed covers of magazines on which they’ve appeared.
“No one ever visits,” a local tells Us, and the couple rarely leave. “Heidi sits and stares in the mirror, while Spencer plots and schemes on his projects all day,” adds a Pratt source. “He sits on the Internet, watches TV and tries to get press. That is all he does. It’s totally sick.”

The caption to this picture from PacificCoastNews reads:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Thursday May 13, 2010. **EXCLUSIVE** Spencer Pratt and his security team, a detail of three U.S. Marines, stand on watch outside the house he shares with Heidi Montag. Police had been called to the property earlier in the day when Heidi’s mother visited the house unexpectedly and reports say she refused to leave. One of the scurity team is retired Marine LCPL. Cougar Zank who was in the infantry was involved in anti tank weaponry who has recently been staying with the Pratts. He is helping Spencer write patriotic scripts. They are a good patriotic couple, the former Marine said.”

Took the words right outta my mouth.

14
May
10

MOVE OVER JEREMY, I CAN’T REACH THE DONUT.

Apparently Jeremy Piven couldn’t take his eyes off the buffet table Jessica Simpson when she was on set to film a cameo for Entourage

Via US Weekly,

“In between takes, he was staring at Jessica’s ass in the most obvious of ways,” a witness tells UsMagazine.com. “He wasn’t being sly about it and would just watch her every move. He flirts with ugly girls, so you can imagine how crazy for Jessica Simpson he was. She almost seemed like she couldn’t wait to change into her jeans, but she was a good sport about it and kind of laughed it off.”

A good sport huh?

Sure, she’d be.

Anything to make sure she got to stay on set longer. Those buffet tables are HUGGGGGE!

 

 

 

 

 

05
May
10

your daily sigh.

McSteamy and wife, Rebecca Gayheart are on the cover of US Weekly and they’re posing with their newborn baby the same way any set of new parents pose for their first family pictures.

If those set of new parents replaced their snot rags and undereye circles with chiseled abs and a team of photographers that is.

That little boy should be disciplined for trying to push away from a Daddy that looks like that. Shame on him.

I’m joking, I don’t condone violence against children, unless Amy Winehouse has a baby. Then all bets are off.

04
May
10

man, f*ck you b*tches.

Honestly, last week’s Hills episode was hilarious with all the drama and interventions that were attempted.

I’ll bet NOBODY was laughing as hard as Kristin Cavallari the “Crackhead,” herself for getting called an addict for doing ABSURD things like partying too hard and wearing sunglasses during the day.

What a f*cking weirdo.

Either way I wouldn’t doubt she dives into a Hill or two, and apparently there’s a SOURCE who calls her out for doing so…

Via US Weekly,

Earlier this month, after a night of drinking at the All Points Worldwide Night Visions Oasis party at Coachella in Indio, Calif., Cavallari, 23, joined 37-year-old actor Jason Statham and several others for a late-night spin in a golf cart, the new Us Weekly reports. “They got pulled over by the cops and were told to go home,” recounts a Cavallari acquaintance, who tells Us Weekly that throughout the music festival weekend, the star “was drinking and partying. I saw her do a line of cocaine.”

Though Cavallari’s lawyer denies she uses drugs, a source tells Us Weekly: “The dudes she hangs out with are all party promoters — and they’re party animals.”

Adds another: “She’s been sucked into the Hollywood scene. She’s surrounded by the leeches who enable her.”

I have a feeling she’s not the only chick to get sucked in the Hollywood scene, considering that’s where she LIVES.

Get over yourself Lo, if you’re not mixing Vodka with your OJ during breakfast, then you need to move.

I also need to stop putting so much effort in standing up for these b*tches. The day I sleep with Brody Jenner is the day that mine and Kristin’s pretend friendship will be over.

I swear I’m sober, and I swear I’m not on meds. But yes, I did say “pretend friendship.”  Get over it.

 

 

27
Apr
10

breast lunch ever.

I was actually planning on indulging in Subway for lunch, I don’t know about the rest of you, but if you have a FETISH for mammaries, Khloe Kardashian need’s a hand. Or, shall I say, a MOUTH

Via US Weekly,

So how did Kourtney [Kardashian’s] slim down after having Mason last December?

“Definitely breastfeeding helps,” she told Us. “Everyone says that, but it’s really true — and it’s just being a busy mom.”

Khloe, 25, wishes she could drop weight as easily as her sister.

“If that’s all it takes, breastfeeding?” she joked to Us. “Then someone breastfeed off of me! I don’t care!”

First of all Khloe, I’m sure Kim’s already in the midst of patenting Kourtney’s breast milk as a diet aid, so you’re not the only one with ideas here.

Second, I don’t think I could ever be that DESPERATE to lose weight. Although my friend had a baby a few months ago and is SKINNY soooo, I mean it’s nothing I would ever try just to lose a few. I’m not thinking about it at all right now. I’m not even typing possibilities into Google Search. It’s preposterous. It’s not even crossing my mind…


 




Who you callin a TWIT?

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