Posts Tagged ‘Victoria Beckham

01
Jun
10

snapped.

Victoria Beckham & Kate Beckinsale rockin the stilts at a kid’s Birthday party in the Hills.

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26
May
10

snapped.

Victoria Beckham shopping.

Nooooo. You don’t say…?!

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04
May
10

snapped.

Victoria Beckham lands at Heathrow.

Pristine.

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26
Apr
10

vogue.

Victoria Beckham does Vogue Germany in next month’s issue, and for some reason they have her posing with an assortment of food.

No news as to whose head got chopped off FIRST for such buffonery.

23
Apr
10

snapped.

Victoria Beckham acting POSH at the BritWeek charity event in Bev Hills…

Sashay.

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23
Mar
10

snapped.

Victoria Beckham touches down at Heathrow.

She’s not wearing skinny pants.

This is MINDBLOWING news.

18
Mar
10

cheerleader tryouts anyone?

You wish.

If anyone’s gonna be cheering for THIS guy it’ll be me. Only because if Poshie Poo ever tried jumping into their air, her legs would snap like MATCHSTICKS once she hit the ground.

David Beckham most DEFINITELY won’t be playing in this summer’s World Cup, but he could possibly put his PRETTY face to use by playing CHEERLEADER.

The chairman of FA (football association of England) says,

“We aren’t ready to speculate when he would be ready to do things [for the bid] since our first thoughts are that he recovers. He is a huge asset to the bid; there is no question about that. He is very charismatic and an extremely decent person who will do all and anything to help his country,” after sports commentators have been suggesting that he play the role of insprator in South Africa to the more inexperienced players there.

This guy probably has the POWER to cure diseases with his face alone. Showing players the way victory is child’s play.

 

 

09
Mar
10

who wants ribs for dinner…?

Poshie Pooh recently told Fox PopTarts that nothing would excite her more than to dress Michelle Obama, not even the invention of Diet Water.

“I would love to dress Mrs. Obama absolutely absolutely absolutely! I just think she’s incredible and she’s a very strong woman and she’s beautiful. I love women and I just want to make women feel good and beautiful and it’s just been a huge compliment that ladies have enjoyed wearing my dresses and they look great! It just goes to show they can flatter women of all different shapes and sizes, all different heights, and that’s what it’s about. It’s about creating an illusion and having a great cut.”

Victoria still thinks that the range of -5 to 0 is a wide range of “different shapes and sizes.” She probably thinks that the bleeding from her hip bones from bumping into sh*t is considered normal.

Typical situation…

Michelle: Oh these children’s tops are just lovely!

Posh: Those aren’t children’s tops ma’am.

Michelle: Oh the pant legs on these things are just a horror to pull on.

Posh: Those are sweater sleeves ma’am.

Michelle: No this toothpick, bugeyed, bobble headed b*tch did NOT come up into the White House to call me fat. Cook! Get out the BBQ sauce. We’re havin RIBS for dinner.

 

 

 

25
Feb
10

Victoria Beckham sans super boob.

Vicky Beckham kindly returned her husband’s soccer balls out from under her shirt and replaced them with a pair that wouldn’t make her tip over facefirst into her YSL Pumps.

Check out her SPREAD for 10 Magazine

 

24
Feb
10

Joan Rivers grates Victoria Beckham’s bones.

The collagen filled, Spock like Joan Rivers had a few CHOICE words for Victoria Beckham in Closer magazine recently…

“Victoria Beckham is so nasty. Why doesn’t she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don’t care what she does. She’s mean to all the people around her. She’s too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she’s rude. She can’t always just be having a bad day. Victoria Beckham should get a life. I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar.


And no-one should flaunt that they have a hundred Hermes bags. Not when people are starving. Everyone should be allowed to have a great time but she shows a distinct lack of class. I dislike Victoria Beckham. The entitlement – the total entitlement. You want to say, ‘Calm down, you were a Spice Girl.’ The arrogance when she walks into a room is astonishing.”

If you were close enough when this sh*t went down you were most likely able to WITNESS this chick’s $100 000’s in plastic surgery melting away from her face in urgency to somehow puddle together to build playsets for IMPOVERISHED children.





Who you callin a TWIT?

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