now this is a walk of shame.

And I thought walking the Vegas strip in boxer briefs with my dress around my waist and heels in hand was shameful.

This is just plain SICK.

Snooki was snapped leaving the MTV Movie Awards afterparty at Las Palmas nightclub with a *gasp* male. Now call me crazy but this guy has to be a rapist. Or depressed. Or deprived. Or he already has an STD so what’s another one for the night right?

Yeahhhh. Whose with me on this one?! Am I right or am I right?!

*crickets*

If this is indeed, legit, I’m trying to come up with an alternate solution for this guy. Here he’s seen clearly embarassed by his fellow companion, and from the look on her face she’s clearly had a super sized margarita or 10.

The gentlemanly thing to do in this situaion is to pick your lady up in your arms and gallantly carry her to the backseat of your vehicle, or taxi if you’re being smart about it. Taking into consideration the size of his partner, I would expect this above plan to be out of the question. So unless he has a trailer attached to his car, once he gets out of sight from the paparazzi he’s gonna have to grab his buddies and roll the b*tch home.

Hey when you’re that desperate, you can make anything work.

kim’s back in business.

And by business I literally mean BUSINESS.

Do you know how much she made on her LAST sex tape? Back then she was Paris Hilton’s personal bag holder. Just think of all the $$ she’ll rake in if she came out with one now. You know, because she’s famous and all.

Anyways, she was snapped out on a date in El Lay with some dude whose not Black and I dunno if I like her hooking up with someone whose not an athlete. I have high standards for her. (Minus all that sex tape stuff I mean).

Weird right?

He’s sub par. But at least he won’t blend into the background when the cameras are rolling.

Oh I joke. I loves my KK. I honestly think she’s trying to get back at the shots of Reggie out with that cleaning lady tramp of his. She’s a mastermind, she is.

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whose behind the bush…?

So Reggie Bush was snapped trolling around with some chick that is SUPPOSEDLY Kim K’s replacement.

Pshht. B*tch please.

Kim would never be caught dead wearing something that doesn’t showcase her ass. And footballers would never be caught dead boning someone who wears as much clothes as this chick’s wearing.

She’s probably his cleaning lady.

Tramp.

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and NEW bikini pics of KK will be seen in 5,4,3,2…

the couple most likely to grow old together.

Not.

Via The New York Daily News,

“The drama isn’t over for Jude Law and Sienna Miller. The recently reunited couple were spotted having a “spectacular falling out” at a nposh London bar, the Daily Mail reports.

“It was like old times,” a witness snitched to the paper after Law and Miller reportedly got into a public shouting match following a game of snooker at East London’s Shoreditch House.

“They had this blazing row in front of everyone, and Sienna walked out. I couldn’t tell you what the row was about, but Sienna had a huge tantrum,” another onlooker said. “It was quite dramatic. As soon as she left, Jude started blatantly chatting up another girl in the club at the bar. She was very pretty and was clearly delighted that this huge movie star was making a move on her. Then, after a while, Sienna came back. You should have seen her face when she saw Jude and this other girl.”

This here is the PERFECT couple. Sienna’s a homewrecker right? Jude’s an all around douchebag.

They need to put their talents to good use and stop all this bickering with a little positive step in the right direction.

While Jude’s boning the wife, Sienna can keep the husband occupied.

How have they not thought of this?! I can only spread around my wisdom so far people.

Sh*t.

doug reinhardt still has herpes. miss usa doesn’t.

So rumors were going around that Paris Hilton’s ex b*tch, Doug Reinhardt was boning Miss USA (former and current)…

Hooters must have been closed for renos or something.

Via E!News,

Not only is he not dating the current Miss USA, but it looks like Doug Reinhardt isn’t dating 2009 Miss USA Kristen Dalton, either. Dalton tells E! she has never been romantically involved with Reinhardt and their contact was purely for business purposes.
“Doug and I were only talking professionally,” says Dalton. “I am with Reid [Rosenthal] and we are very serious about each other.”

Dalton’s a liar.

Doug fled after realizing she didn’t have a cupboard full of Herpes medication for his taking.

You know, because plucking Brody Jenner’s eyebrow hair doesn’t really count as a job.

samantha ronson can finally come out of her house…

So Linday LOLohan has found someone to help her stay on her feet 24/7…*

 

*Yes I need to clear the images of her on her knees 24/7 by making that highly untrue statement above.

Via the New York Post,

“Klinko said the pair are good for each other.
“Lindsay and Indrani have been seeing each other since we shot her last fall,” he said. “I’ve seen them on dates, I have seen them making out . . . Indrani is a good influence on Lindsay. She is the opposite of a party girl — a Princeton graduate, she’s into art and is a philanthropist — not what you’d expect the typical girl for Lindsay to go out with.
“When they are together, they talk about art and the deeper meaning in life.”

You don’t say…?

Is that before or after she wakes up in her own piss?

Really. It’s a valid question.

 

 

OMFG UPPER EAST SIDERS…

That one with the lemon sucking face, Jessica somethingortheother and Ed Westwick are supposedly back together after being spotted at the Mondrian Hotel together…

Via Celebrity-Gossip.Net,

The “Gossip Girl” costars weren’t afraid to show their love for one another as they chilled out at the Mondrian Hotel, literally wrapping their bodies around each other.

Previously, Ed and Jessica were said to be having relationship problems after reports of infidelity began to surface.

But now that they’ve been spotted in each other’s embrace, it looks like Ed and Jessica are back off the market!

Who didn’t see this coming…?

He probably got sick of f*cking girls prettier than himself.

Diva’s hate when they find other people’s hair in their combs.

my name is like, paris. bend over.

So Paris Hilton is boning Mark Salling from Glee.

He must want one last meaningless fling before he throws himself off a building or something.

Or maybe he already has herpes, and banging her would be like a hopeless fat person giving up and eating themselves to an early death.

Via the National Enquirer,

Paris Hilton wasted no time after splitting with baseball player Doug Reinhardt — the hotel heiress jumped right into a rebound romance with hunky “Glee” star Mark Salling. The two met several months ago and had chatted by email many times. But as soon as Doug was out of the picture, Paris invited Mark to a candlelit gourmet dinner at her home, said Paris’ close friend. “Paris says not only is Mark gorgeous, but unlike Doug, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he’s an up-by-the bootstraps kind of guy who made his own fame and fortune . . . Mark has agreed to help Paris land a guest spot on Glee.”

See my suicide theory has to be correct.

The only person who would AGREE to do anything with Paris is someone who holds no value on life.

There’s no other explanation.

 

it’s gonna be a bad weekend for lindsay lohan…

So here’s Samantha Ronson (Lindsay’s ex-GF) hugging up on some new chick…

I hope we don’t hear Monday morning that this poor woman was found in a bush somewhere in the Hills. Although I have a feeling that Lindsay might not be smart enough to pull it off…

It’s gonna be pretty hard for her to mask the always accompanying scent of Jim Beam and Dina Lohan’s tanning lotion.

 They’ll eventually find her in the middle of the ill advised murder sitting on a stone whining about how killing people is like tough sh*t and she just needed a smoke before she clobbered her over a flask.

 

 

speaking of herpes…

…here’s Paris’ ex, Doug Reinhardt trolling around LA with some stripper on her lunch break new chick…

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