Posts Tagged ‘Celebrity Tweets

09
Jun
10

katy perry has something to say.

That is if anyone even listens to Katy Perry. (Not her singing, her speaking).

If I were a dude that is. Nah, or a girl. I just wouldn’t be able to focus on listening to her with “HOLY F*CK SHE HAS HUGE T*TS!!!” screaming in my ears.

Anyways, she took to her Twitter regarding Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro.”

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Ouch Katy Perry. Them some fighting words.

Too bad all people heard were a couple of t*tties bouncing against each other.

Motorboat!

 

01
Jun
10

oh the pain. oh the pain. now where are the paparazzi…?

Heidi, Heidi, Heidi…

Unless you stage a date with the paps to film you melting your upper body into a life sized candle for the benefit of conserving energy, no one wants to hear it.

Via US Weekly,

Talking to Us magazine, the “Hills” hottie’s rep tells, “Heidi is going through a difficult time and hopes people respect her privacy.”

Of the current situation, a friend of the couple tells that “there are no plans for divorce…they are going through some issues. It’s a hiccup.”

Meanwhile, it appears as if Miss Montag already has her living situation mapped out for the upcoming future, as her former “Hills” co-star Jennifer Bunney said, “Heidi and I are moving into a Malibu beach house this summer.”

Planning to shoot a new reality show with one another, Bunney adds, “We’re really excited to do girly things and show people who we really are and that we’re really fun, sweet and loyal girls.”

Not all that upset over her marital woes, Heidi tweeted post-split, “”This is going to be the best summer of my life!!!”

Jen Bunney?! Sweet and loyal?

I summon Lauren Conrad and all her inner spirit to SMFH.

Wait, actually, the only way that this living arrangement could be beneficial to the public is if they put Heidi’s t*ts on fire during a bonfire on the beach or something. For the 4th of July.

Now that’s something to take pictures of.

 

06
May
10

kim gets sh*t on…

Hey just because she got pissed on doesn’t mean these kids can take off their diapers and drop a deuce on Kim K…

She’s actually getting pelted by baby mash and rattles after posing with Justin Bieber recently at the White House dinner…

Apparently the Justin Bieber fans (AKA Mrs. Hunter’s 1st Grade class) were pissed off because they thought that Kim K was moving her ass into their territory.

Via the SFGate,

Justin Bieber is urging fans to stop sending death threats to socialite Kim Kardashian – insisting they should “calm down” over rumors the pair is dating.

The “Baby” hit maker recently admitted Kardashian was his ideal lady, and he was ecstatic when he got to meet her at the weekend when they both attended the White House Correspondents’ dinner.

Following their meeting, Kardashian took to her Twitter.com account to confess she had “Bieber fever,” while the singer posted a photo of him with the reality TV star, referring to her as his “girlfriend.”

But the comments sent Bieber’s dedicated fans into a fury, and Kardashian was bombarded with threatening messages, causing her to tweet to the star: “I’m getting death threats from your fans! This is unBeliebable (sic)!!!”

Now Bieber has spoken out about the threats, begging his hordes of female fans to be friendly to his new pal.

In a post on his Twitter.com page, he writes, “Ladies calm down. Kim Kardashian is a friend. A very sexy friend but a friend. No need 4 (sic) threats. Let’s all be friends and hang out often.”

http://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/13390383295

I don’t know how many times sh*t like this has to happen before people realize that she has absolutely ZERO interest. Other than breaking her 2348790345 pictures taken in one day record.

For God’s sake. He’s like 8 white!

Get with it people.

21
Apr
10

spit on me.

Usually when a lesbian spits on another lesbian it’s considered a GREAT thing, but it’s fact that when Lindsay Lohan is used in the same sentence as “great,” all normalcy goes to sh*t.

Via Twitter,

Lindsay:

 Fun @coachella but tonight @ my friernds bday party, @samantharonson spit in my face and left w/ @mileycyrus ‘s ex

Sam Ronson:
Guess what didn’t happen tonight……

Don’t take it personally Sam, when you get so f*cked up that you lose all voluntary movement of your face & end up slobbering on yourself, you’ll pretty much think every 2nd person you meet is spitting on you.

21
Apr
10

Twit twat.

Yeah.

This is a picture CoCo posted on Twitter of her gettting her CoCo waxed.

I sh*t you not.

(You can click the Thumbnail below for the NSFW full sized pic, in case you enjoy looking at enlarged v*ginas).

Don’t care how witty, how funny, or how suicidal your next Tweet is, you’ve been schooled.

20
Apr
10

bad kitty.

Kimmy K posted a pic on her Twitter from a recent PHOTOSHOOT and was met with a sh*tload of criticism for abusing innocent animals.

Hey, no one said anything when Lindsay LOLohan steps out into public. There must be LAWS against abusing people with the gift of sight no…?

Here’s what PETA had to say:

“Kim Kardashian isn’t the only person who mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn’t needed.”

Understandable, but you that they just wanted a chance to say “hand” and “rump” when talking about Kim Kardashian.

Anyways, the people who bothered to complain about the picture need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that Kimmy just wants people to remember she has a va*ina. That is ALL.

Here’s what she had planned to say (via her blog):

“Hey guys! So yesterday I was doing a photo shoot with an adorable black kitty cat and I Twitpic’d this picture… I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals.”

Aw we knew that already, but there wasn’t really a reason to think about your p*ssy until now.

Job well done.

 

 

13
Apr
10

jim carrey is an alcoholic.

Well not really, he’s more of a NUTJOB in the middle of a NERVOUS breakdown, but it’s pretty much the same sh*t especially when you DENY it.

Just like I deny that I have a shopping problem when I end up buying Miu Mius 3 sizes too small for me and end up having to give them to my dog.

Or when I my friend has one drink TOO many and claims that my her underwear is meant to be worn over her pants.

Same sh*t.

Via Twitter,

 

RT Breaking News!Jim Carrey’s ambassador to the world,is dead!He is survived by me,the actual Jim Carrey,who has opinions about stuff.—>
…I am grateful for my avatar’s many yrs of dedicated service, but nowone has ever won the Tour De France while peddling. —->
…so I killed him,I do not plan 2 bow to expectations or to be confined by the fear of losing altitude in the ‘statusphere’! (my word)—->
…I have freed Truman,at long last!I am now free 2 be my whole self,which includes a somewhat contemplative nature,a yen 4 sociology—>
..and a joyfully disarming(with a hacksaw if necessary)sense of humor.I promise 2 reflect all that I’m seeing,hearing,feeling,sensing—>
…and being fed by the media.I was almost out of Tiger untill E.T Supersized me!But I will wear cool shades and get my lips injected! p^m
word missing earlier. ‘Nowone has ever won the Tour De France by ‘back’ peddling. GET IT?! IT IS BETTER WITH THAT! HA HA! Sleeeeep! |^•zzz
Some folks out there are worried that I stay up too late but their fundamental mistake is in assuming that I haven’t moved to Fiji! |^•snore.

In his defense, I’d be pretty f*cked up if instead of every morning waking up to a hot GILF, I was waking up to TBS running my sh*tty movies every few hours.

 




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