haha. loser.

Wait. What?

Katherine Heigl was in this last season of Grey’s Anatomy?

What did she play? A corpse?

Via E!

“After the two-hour Grey’s Anatomy finale a few weeks ago, we said Emmys should be given to everyone in the cast for that episode. But funny, so far we’ve only heard of Katherine Heigl submitting her name in the Emmy race for Best Supporting Actress.

You’re probably wondering what she submitted her name for, considering she rarely appeared in Grey’s this season. And when we ran into Eric Dane over the weekend he was asking the same thing:

Reporters asked Eric what he thought of Katherine putting her name in for Best Supporting Actress. His response: “For what?”

“Um, for Grey’s Anatomy,” we gently reminded him on the carpet at the 9th Annual Chrysalis Ball, where he was there with his equally good lookin’ wife Rebecca Gayheart.

“Oh,” Dane said catching himself. “It’s great! Fantastic! I love it! Why?”

Who does this b*tch think she is? That’s like me putting myself in the race just for watching the damn show.

Crook.

She should just be happy that the producers haven’t shunned her from the industry. Or even worse, replaced her with a Victoria’s Secret model.

*cough Michael Bay cough*

 

of course they did.

Lindsay Lohan’s trying to fool us into thinking she doesn’t have a HUGE f*cking book of utterly nonsensical excuses as to why she can’t just be a normal human being.

Her latest scheme?

She got her oh so wise Mother to try and cover for her. Lindsay c’mon. You might not be able to read real people books, but I’m sure you can understand your own cryptic writing.

“Cat. Pee. Tell I wasn’t really me. Twin evil sister. Kidnap. Gogglie Goo.”

“Hehehe this’ll fool em.”

Via The New York Post,

“[Lindsay] was at the MTV Awards and somebody spilled a drink on her leg, which must have set off the SCRAM bracelet. She has done absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn’t have to wear the bracelet in the first place. She is doing absolutely fine.”

God. I could have used her as a Mom for parts of my life that I’m now not too proud to admit. “Oh you drove while drunk and crashed into a mailbox honey? No, no, no, wipe those tears away, it was that f*cking mailbox’s fault. We’ll get him!”

Actually….no. Nevermind. I love you Mom.

snapped.

Paris Hilton at the airport before jetting off to Brazil.

I can’t think of a better candidate for those pants.

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picture of the day.

At least she burned a couple calories dragging the chair into the lineup.

If that’s not enough reason for a extra thick milkshake on the side I don’t know what is.

my lonliness is kiiiiillllinngggg meeeee…

Britney Spears apparently thinks that she can feed and bathe herself these days. Which is why one of her bodyguards QUIT that b*tch.

Actually it’s because she forced him upon her privates but I like the former because it was funnier.

Via The Sun,

“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.
“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff. All her guards knew they could be removed if they looked at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for Fernando, she took a liking to him, so he was under more pressure than most. He wanted to be a good security guard and look after her but the situation became unbearable.”
The last straw came when Britney’s dad JAMIE – who is in legal control of her and can hire and fire staff – kicked off after she left her Los Angeles home without underwear.
“Jamie went mental when he saw the pictures and Fernando was made the fall guy. He was not fired but told he was to blame. He had had enough.”

Being forced to look at Britney Spears’ naked body shouldn’t be cause for change of employment. Can you imagine what Lady Gaga’s bodyguards have to go through??

“C’mere Benson. They’re starting to show again. It’s all about the way you tuck. Detail, detail, detail. What do I pay you goons for?!”

now this is a walk of shame.

And I thought walking the Vegas strip in boxer briefs with my dress around my waist and heels in hand was shameful.

This is just plain SICK.

Snooki was snapped leaving the MTV Movie Awards afterparty at Las Palmas nightclub with a *gasp* male. Now call me crazy but this guy has to be a rapist. Or depressed. Or deprived. Or he already has an STD so what’s another one for the night right?

Yeahhhh. Whose with me on this one?! Am I right or am I right?!

*crickets*

If this is indeed, legit, I’m trying to come up with an alternate solution for this guy. Here he’s seen clearly embarassed by his fellow companion, and from the look on her face she’s clearly had a super sized margarita or 10.

The gentlemanly thing to do in this situaion is to pick your lady up in your arms and gallantly carry her to the backseat of your vehicle, or taxi if you’re being smart about it. Taking into consideration the size of his partner, I would expect this above plan to be out of the question. So unless he has a trailer attached to his car, once he gets out of sight from the paparazzi he’s gonna have to grab his buddies and roll the b*tch home.

Hey when you’re that desperate, you can make anything work.

disturbing natural order.

God Damn Lindsay Lohan. C’mon! Really?! C’mon!

Via TMZ,

“We’re going to break it down for you.  Lindsay was on probation when she failed to appear in court last month.  At that point, Judge Revel revoked her probation and set bail at $100,000.  In return for bail, Lindsay promised to appear for a hearing on the probation violation — set for July 6.  Because of the SCRAM incident, the $100,000 bail has now been forfeited.  Instead of throwing Lindsay in jail pending the July hearing, the judge is allowing her to post new bail — set at $200,000, so she can remain free.

Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet generated a report to SCRAM officials sometime after the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Sources say the SCRAM data shows evidence of alcohol.”

 

Of course it showed evidence of alcohol. Why the f*ck else would it go off?! Anyways, this whole thing is preposterous. It’s like asking Heidi Montag to stay away from silicone. Or asking Christina Aguilera to go without makeup for 10 mintues. What the Hell does this judge expect from this poor girl?

By threatening to throw her in jail for sipping on the sizzurp she’s violating the rights of people all over the world. Everyone has a right to lighten their day with a little laughter. Who the f*ck are we supposed to laugh at when this b*tch gets locked up? How the Hell am I supposed to run this site on the many different looks of Kim Kardashian alone?

Preposterous I tell you.

Via TMZ,

 

“Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, tells TMZ Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet “indicated the presence of a small amount of alcohol on Sunday night.”

Holley added, “Having just received the report, I am not in a position to speak to its accuracy or validity, however, Ms. Lohan maintains that she has been in complete compliance with all of the terms of her probation and her bail.”

Great. Nevermind then. Carry on.

Nope. I won’t ever get sick of this picture.

 

 

 

beep beep b*tch.

Ha!

Lindsay LOLohan’s SCRAM fashion piece went off this past weekend during one of the MTV Movie Awards after parties at Las Palmas…

Poor b*tch. I can imagine how hard it would be to actually have to face the world SOBER.

“Whoa. You mean people only have ONE face?! What the?!”

Via PEOPLE,

“It remains unclear whether alcohol was detected in her system or if the device was tampered with. Either one would alert authorities.
Lohan, 23, could face jail time if the judge in her case rules that the actress violated the conditions of her bail – which include abstaining from alcohol and submitting to random drug testing. Judge Marsha Revel is expected to receive the SCRAM report soon, the source says, and could order Lohan in for an immediate bail revocation hearing.”

Man, leave her alone. Take her in when she finally gives up and decides to gnaw her ankle off.

in case you hadn’t had enough…

Heidi Montag filed for SEPARATION today from her gypsy of a husband, Spencer Pratt.

The next time I hear ANY bit of gossip regarding these two, I hope it involves Heidi finally getting those Size H implants or Spencer overdosing on whatever the f*ck kind of drugs he’s on.

I wishing for the former only because I get more hits when posting about Heidi’s boobs. And it’ll be funny to watch her walk.

Via TMZ,

Heidi did not file divorce papers. The legal significance of legal separation is that her earnings will become her separate property from the date of separation. Heidi lists the date of separation as today, June 8.
Interesting … under the section, “community assets and debts,” Heidi wrote, “No such assets or debts.” It’s unclear if Heidi and Spencer have a prenup which keeps their assets separate, or if they’re broke.”

B*tch just transformed herself into motherf*cking Barbie. I doubt The Hills producers covered that fee. Although, if I was the director I would have just to make a funny.

No one wants to watch Audrina look off into the distance after visiting Justin Bobby or Lo roll her eyes at anything that doesn’t come out of her own mouth.

So yes, I have no doubt she’s  penniless. Oh well, guess she’s going to have to start pimping herself out for cash star in another reality show, or hey, maybe she’ll replace the new chick in Transformers 3 after Michael Bay realized what a huge mistake me made for passing up such an acting great.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

oh c’mon. i’m running out of herpes jokes here…

What do you get when you put Paris Hilton and Snooki side by side…?

An insider’s access to STD medication.

Hyuck. Hyuck.

Via US Magazine,

“I was just giving her advice,” she said. “I just told her to remain the same sweet girl [she is] and not let anything affect her; be strong and don’t pay attention to bad press. People can say mean things about you, but you should know who you are and not pay attention to it.” If she comes back to LA, will Hilton show her the club ropes?
“Definitely!” she told Us.”

It only makes sense for Snooki to have Paris show her the ropes. “The ropes” being the best way to cushion your knees when giving a blowj*b & tips on how to stay sexually active during a flare up of course.

Anyways, besides that, I think Paris’ adoration for all things small and furry clouded her vision. She probably thought Snooki was an overweight Chihuahua and ended the night trying to stuff her into her Louis Vuitton.

Snooki probably gave a sh*t.

“Weee. I’ve never seen the inside of a real designer bag before!” This don’t smell like noodles!’

“I wonder if she’s got food in here.”