haha. loser.

Wait. What?

Katherine Heigl was in this last season of Grey’s Anatomy?

What did she play? A corpse?

Via E!

“After the two-hour Grey’s Anatomy finale a few weeks ago, we said Emmys should be given to everyone in the cast for that episode. But funny, so far we’ve only heard of Katherine Heigl submitting her name in the Emmy race for Best Supporting Actress.

You’re probably wondering what she submitted her name for, considering she rarely appeared in Grey’s this season. And when we ran into Eric Dane over the weekend he was asking the same thing:

Reporters asked Eric what he thought of Katherine putting her name in for Best Supporting Actress. His response: “For what?”

“Um, for Grey’s Anatomy,” we gently reminded him on the carpet at the 9th Annual Chrysalis Ball, where he was there with his equally good lookin’ wife Rebecca Gayheart.

“Oh,” Dane said catching himself. “It’s great! Fantastic! I love it! Why?”

Who does this b*tch think she is? That’s like me putting myself in the race just for watching the damn show.

Crook.

She should just be happy that the producers haven’t shunned her from the industry. Or even worse, replaced her with a Victoria’s Secret model.

*cough Michael Bay cough*

 

katy perry has something to say.

That is if anyone even listens to Katy Perry. (Not her singing, her speaking).

If I were a dude that is. Nah, or a girl. I just wouldn’t be able to focus on listening to her with “HOLY F*CK SHE HAS HUGE T*TS!!!” screaming in my ears.

Anyways, she took to her Twitter regarding Lady Gaga’s new video for “Alejandro.”

“Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”

Ouch Katy Perry. Them some fighting words.

Too bad all people heard were a couple of t*tties bouncing against each other.

Motorboat!

 

disturbing natural order.

God Damn Lindsay Lohan. C’mon! Really?! C’mon!

Via TMZ,

“We’re going to break it down for you.  Lindsay was on probation when she failed to appear in court last month.  At that point, Judge Revel revoked her probation and set bail at $100,000.  In return for bail, Lindsay promised to appear for a hearing on the probation violation — set for July 6.  Because of the SCRAM incident, the $100,000 bail has now been forfeited.  Instead of throwing Lindsay in jail pending the July hearing, the judge is allowing her to post new bail — set at $200,000, so she can remain free.

Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet generated a report to SCRAM officials sometime after the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Sources say the SCRAM data shows evidence of alcohol.”

 

Of course it showed evidence of alcohol. Why the f*ck else would it go off?! Anyways, this whole thing is preposterous. It’s like asking Heidi Montag to stay away from silicone. Or asking Christina Aguilera to go without makeup for 10 mintues. What the Hell does this judge expect from this poor girl?

By threatening to throw her in jail for sipping on the sizzurp she’s violating the rights of people all over the world. Everyone has a right to lighten their day with a little laughter. Who the f*ck are we supposed to laugh at when this b*tch gets locked up? How the Hell am I supposed to run this site on the many different looks of Kim Kardashian alone?

Preposterous I tell you.

Via TMZ,

 

“Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, tells TMZ Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet “indicated the presence of a small amount of alcohol on Sunday night.”

Holley added, “Having just received the report, I am not in a position to speak to its accuracy or validity, however, Ms. Lohan maintains that she has been in complete compliance with all of the terms of her probation and her bail.”

Great. Nevermind then. Carry on.

Nope. I won’t ever get sick of this picture.

 

 

 

the people who wear expensive clothes awards.

AKA the CFDA Awards were held last night in NYC, and yes Sarah Jessica Parker was there. And NO, she didn’t wear a headdress.

Marc Jacobs was deservingly handed the Womenswear Designer of the Year award and other winners consisted of Alexis Bittar for her jewelery designs, Michael Kors for the Lifetime Achievement Award and Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen for those kids who don’t talk to Uncle Jesse anymore because they charge $400 for a shirt.

Oh and might I add, Whitney Port should always wear makeup. She looks AMAZING without that staple ghastly look on her face.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

oh c’mon. i’m running out of herpes jokes here…

What do you get when you put Paris Hilton and Snooki side by side…?

An insider’s access to STD medication.

Hyuck. Hyuck.

Via US Magazine,

“I was just giving her advice,” she said. “I just told her to remain the same sweet girl [she is] and not let anything affect her; be strong and don’t pay attention to bad press. People can say mean things about you, but you should know who you are and not pay attention to it.” If she comes back to LA, will Hilton show her the club ropes?
“Definitely!” she told Us.”

It only makes sense for Snooki to have Paris show her the ropes. “The ropes” being the best way to cushion your knees when giving a blowj*b & tips on how to stay sexually active during a flare up of course.

Anyways, besides that, I think Paris’ adoration for all things small and furry clouded her vision. She probably thought Snooki was an overweight Chihuahua and ended the night trying to stuff her into her Louis Vuitton.

Snooki probably gave a sh*t.

“Weee. I’ve never seen the inside of a real designer bag before!” This don’t smell like noodles!’

“I wonder if she’s got food in here.”

 

miley kissed a girl and she didn’t like it.

…she didn’t like it so much that she did it AGAIN.

Here’s her rant:

I performed Cant Be Tamed this week on one of my favorite shows here in the UK Britians Got Talent. Which is totally true, there were some amazinnnggg acts (but of course no one could focus on that.) I had such a blast and was so honored to be on that stage. That being said during my performance I supposedly “KISSED A GIRL” and this is the newest thing to cause controversy. I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story. I really hope my fans are not disappointed in me because the truth is I did nothing wrong. I got up there and did my job which is to perform to the best of my ability. I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal.
GET OVER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE ARE WAYYYYYYY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD. Lets start focusing a little less on making up ignorant rumors and focus a little more on world peace! We gotta a lot of work to do if we wan this earth to be here much longer. Lets make a change! It wouldn’t hurt the world to show a little more love.”

Yes. There’s more important things in the world to focus on. Like how every pervert on the Internet is using the magnifying glass option to get a closer look at your underwear.

But thanks for the “rocking out” excuse. The next time someone catches me making out with their boyfriend, I’ll just pretend we were about to start band practice.

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

uh, nevermind, scratch, scratch, uhh…

So you know that comment that Scratchy McAwkward (aka Kristen Stewart) made about paparazzi pictures being just like rape…?

She takes it back. Why? Because she likes money.

Via PEOPLE,

“I really made an enormous mistake – clearly and obviously,” Stewart, currently in Korea to promote the new installment of the Twilight series Eclipse, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “And I’m really sorry about my choice of words.”
Stewart, 20, is not known as one to mince words. “I’ve made stupid remarks before, and I’ve always reasoned: ‘Whatever. They can think what they want,’ ” she says.
But in this instance, the Los Angeles-born actress feels compelled to address the situation. ” ‘Violated’ definitely would have been a better way of expressing the thought,” she notes.”

This chick should never talk. Actually you know what, she should just never leave the house. Even to film movies. They should just shoot her scenes while she sits by the window rocking back and forth while picking out the ticks from her hair.

I’d buy tickets to see that movie. I know 3/4 of the world already did.

 

um, too bad…?

Today is a sad day.

Kim Cattrall has decided to put her girls away for retirement. No not those girls.

These ones:

Yes. I do understand that a topless picture was more fitting in the above space, but I’m on a diet, and I don’t need to be reminded of Flapjacks.

Via the San Francisco Chronicle,

“Kim Cattrall has promised she will no longer remove her clothes for sex scenes now that she is in her fifties – insisting she will stay covered up from now on. The 53 year old became famous for her saucy role as Samantha Jones in the “Sex and the City” TV series, which saw her disrobe to act out graphic sexual scenarios on a regular basis. Cattrall has continued the character in two movies, but she’s adamant fans hoping to see her strip on screen in “Sex and the City 2” will be disappointed.

She told Heart FM, “When I turned 50, I decided that I didn’t want to be photographed nude anymore, so you don’t really see me nude (in the new movie), you see me doing maybe a physical, a sexual act, but there’s no part of my body that is exposed.”

I like how the paper chose “promised” instead of “said.” There’s no tears shed over this turn of events whatsoever.

Anyways, just because Samantha’s leaving her shirt on doesn’t mean she’ll be closing her legs anytime soon. That is if seeing women in Depends try and make friends with a vibrator is your sort of thing…

 

just hungry.

So Khloe Kardashian is claiming that NO. She’s not pregnant.

Just fat.

Hey. Her words. Not mine.

Via Celebrity-Gossip.Net,

“Shooting down rumors of a baby on board, Khloe Kardashian bluntly stated “I’m just fat” when questioned if congratulations were in order.

The E! reality beauty was approached and asked about the subject by reporters while watching husband Lamar Odom and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals last night (June 3) at Staples Center.

“As for the on-court action, Khloe tells, “It’s exciting and an honor to see Lamar here. I’m like the proud mom, like, cheering him on and screaming.”

Then asked about how her relationship with Lamar is going, Miss Kardashian answered, “We’re doing great.”

That sneaky b*tch.

She’s just covering her tracks for when she does indeed end up eating the baby after mistaking it for a chocolate log.

Just call her Crafty Khloe.

demi moore has a secret to share…

Wanna know the key to having a strong, healthy & longlasting marriage…??

Well open your ears and your hearts boys & girls…

Via The National Enquirer,

Here’s a public service stay-sexy tip from Demi Moore, who looks fab at 47, yet never forgets that hunky hubby Ashton Kutcher’s 15 years younger — so Ms. Cougar makes sure she always looks hot and alluring in the bedroom with a secret weapon: amber light bulbs that bathe her skin with soft, golden hues. Demi told pals: “I’ve got dozens of boxes stored away — just in case they stop making them.”

Let your husband bone other women while you sip your nightly Metamucil.

 

Demi Moore. Words of Wisdom.