Posts Tagged ‘XXX

18
May
10

picture of the day.

Kendra Wilkinson’s COVER for her new sex tape.

Did anyone get to go to the RELEASE party?!

*Chuckle*

Or uh, get a LOAD of those FINGER foods?

“Hyuk, hyuk.”

13
May
10

snapped.

Tila TeKILLya at her album release party at the Conga Room in El Lay

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And here I thought belts were for wearing on your pants.

God I’m a fool.

13
May
10

too bad there wasn’t a retoucher around…

I don’t know if this sex tape will make Kendra seem hotter or more like one of Jesse James’ trashy tricks…

I hate when you admire someone in a magazine and they actually turn out to look like, well an actual person.

I hate how actual people look.

Anyways, Vivid just released these screenshots from her now confirmed sex tape, and she kinda looks like Jan Brady to me.

If Jan Brady was hot enough to find someone to film a sex tape with her that is…

“Marsha Marsha Marsha! It’s not fair! Nice hair and she looks better having sex on camera!”

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10
May
10

kendra wilkinson is a people person.

She claims the soon to be RELEASED sex tape will “embarass her,” and I now have no doubt.

I mean, I’m not hating on blonde ex Playboy bunnies who spent the better part of the prime years rubbing Hugh Hefner with Bengay and mashing Cyalis into his breakfast for being dumb or anything…

But when you can’t even count out the number of d*ck that are banging you, I mean, well, c’mon…

Via RadarOnline,

New documents uncovered by RadarOnline.com show that not only were there multiple sex tapes, as we exclusively reported, but also multiple partners!
And while Kendra has threatened to sue if the tapes are released she has not returned requests for comment about her attempts to secretly sell the tapes and the company she formed in November, 2008 to do so.
While attempting to sell the tapes in 2008 Kendra was already with Philadelphia Eagles’ wide receiver Hank Baskett, who is now her husband. She needed the approval of Playboy’s Hugh Heffner to go through with the deal, as she was starring in her final season of The Girls Next Door.

This I’ve got to see. Not because of the porn, but because I’d love to watch her get smacked in the face with a p*nis when she was supposed to move to the right, not the left.

Or was it the left, and not the right?

Or was it…?

Oh Kendra.

 

 

 

 

30
Apr
10

what a gentleman…

Boy I wish I had a guy as SWEET as Pauly D.

I’m sure he’ll even go out of his way to gently remove my bra straps before he banges me in the restraunt bathroom.

It still angers me that this tool gets MONETARY reward for groping chicks’ t*ts in public.

Not that I feel bad for the girl or anything. I’m sure she’s real decent. The fact that I can see her Peekachu in full visibility is just a minor detail. I’m sure it’s for good reason.

She probably works for the Calzone place on the corner, poor girl’s just doing what she was asked.

Owner: “We need to do something to get these customers in, business is pretty slow.” I know how much people crave pocketed meat when they get a waft of it…..”

Chick: “Oh right! Lemme just grab my bathingsuit.”

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20
Apr
10

finally. a job that pays.

I know way too many people hounding around for JOBS right now. So during my tiresome research for those who require employment that doesn’t require asking “did you want to Supersize your meal?” I’ve finally found something worth going for…

BEHOLD,

Via PEOPLE,

“Jesse James’s alleged mistress, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee . . . is scheduled to sign autographs, pose for photos and dance topless at Vegas’s Deja Vu Showgirls club on April 23. McGee’s payment by the club, in addition to tips she might receive, will be $5,000 – money that Beard expects to recoup and then some, given her notoriety as “the other woman.”

“We’re just cashing in on her celebrity right now,” Deju Vu advertising and marketing director Larry Beard tells People. “There’s actually a group of tattoo enthusiasts that are all going to show up. I’m getting a lot of response for it. It should be a pretty big event. She’s a dancer. This is right down her alley.”

This is great for our future generations. God, teens have it so easy these days. Might as well skip History and watch strippers at the local joint, they’re going to need to learn some tips & tricks, especially when the Nazi mistress gig has already been done.

And you all thought that there was no HOPE.

22
Mar
10

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

The title to this post does not refer to extreme XXX, but the amount of X pills you may have to take to view a p*rn starring Octomom.

Via TMZ,

“I can only imagine the anxiety that this must be causing you and your family.” But this guy isn’t just talk … he’s willing to pay off her home if Octo stars in a sex tape.
TMZ has obtained a letter from Steven Hirsch, Prez of Vivid Entertainment, to Octomom, in which he offers to pay off the balance due on the house — around $460,000 — if she’s willing to take it lying down.

Ha.

“Take it lying down.”

Ha.

Anyways, I feel as if this is God’s punishment for engaging in at least 4 different sins while watching p*rn when you could have been reading the Bible.

I’m going to hell for using the words, p*rn & Bible in the same sentence.

In Heaven, asterik’s mean sh*t.

 

 

04
Mar
10

jon gosselin gets a small offer…

So Playgirl must really heading DOWNHILL faster than Lindsay Lohan on a rich dude’s lap, because they’re offering Jon Gosselin $20,000 to show the world his pot belly.

(I say pot belly in the most affectionate way, because I know it will be covering up more unsightly appendages).

If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer. “We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed]” — as Jon’s exes Hailey Glassman and Kate Major both recently revealed. “Honestly,” says Nardicio, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.”

Jon, suck it up and do yourself some good. Ain’t nobody gonna offer you money to take off your clothes unless it’s for the before picture for penis enlargement.

Which is the ONLY thing this unnecessary act of nudity could account for, especially when there’s already a ton of high quality pictures of naked animals.

I can point out at least 300 from my Dad’s National Geographic collection.

 

26
Feb
10

picture of the day.

CoCo was a tad upset with MySpace for somehow finding WRONG with this picture. What the Hell is so offensive??

She Tweeted, “Why did myspace take this pic down.Are they offended by ass-crack?Its female curvature!”

I’m right there with you girl, I mean, sure MySpace will allow tween girls to take pics of their stuffed training bras, but will NOT in any way allow you to commit this horrific act of cruelty to humankind.

I mean, stuffing Pamela Anderson into your butt crack to slowly suffocate to death must definitely have been in the Terms & Conditions no?

20
Feb
10

put those pants back on.

Oh that National Enquirer.

How dare you start a FALSE rumor with such prestigious STATUS?!

 

After reporting that Gossip Girl, Blake Lively was going to show up B once and for all, by putting her peacoats to shame and shaking her t*tties for Playboy, her REP has shut down the rumors as completely FALSE.

All the perverts are just going to have to PICTURE her face on Heidi Montag’s body.

Sometimes when you’re DESPERATE anything’ll do.




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