huh? what? who? why?

Uuuummm. Shauna Sand is going to be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab.

I don’t think I’ve seen this chick on anything other than a porn, but…okay.

Via TMZ,

“Shauna Sand’s penchant for booze and attention has finally paid off — TMZ has learned the former Playboy Playmate has signed on for the next season of “Celebrity Rehab.”

We’re told Shauna will check into Dr. Drew’s famous recovery center in Pasadena [today].

As we previously reported, the show has already lined up several other minor celebs including Tila Tequila and Jason Wahler.”

Minor celebs? Is that what they’re calling addicts and hookers these days?

Nice. So all I have to do to get my mug on TV is have sex with a midget, while on E.

Hollywood here I come!

Oh and for Shauna’s kids…? They’re just happy they don’t have to explain to their teacher why they’re wearing G strings under their pants. It’s full on coverage while Mom’s gone!

Yay!

 

 

i’d like to thank ecstasy for getting me this coveted role…

So a Bisexual sexfreakstipperwhore is addicted to Ecstasy?!

Who woulda thought?

Via RadarOnline,

“Reality Star and Twitter addict Tila Tequila will reveal her secret addiction to Ecstasy on Celebrity Rehab 4, RadarOnline.com  has learned.

“Ecstasy is her drug of choice,” a source close to the show told RadarOnline.com.

Another source close to the star of A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila told RadarOnline.com that Tila liked to do Ecstasy with then-fiancée Casey Johnson during their short-lived relationship, and they often got high together.

“The night they first went public together on the red carpet, they were both high on E (ecstasy),” the source told RadarOnline.com.”

Uhh, this chick probably tries to have sex with her dog when she has a case of the downs.

Sober.

I figured her popping E would be like giving Lindsay Lohan a case of Jack.

Ain’t nothing gonna happen that wasn’t happening before.

How much more f*cked up can that make you when you’re already banging carrots at the Farmers Market?

Disappointing.

Too bad she wasn’t addicted to like, clawing at her face, or something viewer friendly like that.

tila tequila is a celebrity.

This little midget must be losing her shirt  SH*T in excitement right now.

Apparently she’s being classified as an actual “celebrity,” even though it’s the kind that go to rehab.

See. Little people can make it too.

Via TMZ,

“Tila Tequila is finally seeking professional help — TMZ has confirmed nthrough multiple sources that the bisexual reality star has committed to do the next season of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab” … if it doesn’t get canceled first.

It’s unclear what personal demon Tila will try to conquer with the help of Dr. Drew — but it certainly won’t be her addiction to attention.

But there’s one major catch — as we previously reported — VH1 is having problems finding other “celebrities” to rehabilitate … and if they don’t find a cast quick, the show could be killed. So far, no word on who else the show has its sights set on.”

Apparently her “demon” is Ambien, because she claims to be addicted to it. Really? I thought it was an addiction to leaving the house in Barbie’s panties. Or having sex while on her period?

F*cking Ambien?

I have like, a candy necklace made of those things.

Yeah, yeah. Like that.

Except they’re pills. But I mean Skittles make you happy, and these make you sleepy.

You say pill, I say candy. Tomato, tomahto.

Get off my back.

 

 

snapped.

Tila TeKILLya acting like a being a drunk attention seeking midget at the Maxim Hot 100 party yesterday…

Too bad she didn’t pass out on the floor…forever.

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Tila TeKILLya at her album release party at the Conga Room in El Lay…

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And here I thought belts were for wearing on your pants.

God I’m a fool.

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Tila TeKILLya whoring around in Vegas.

She must have been called to provide entertainment for a MIDGET convention or something.

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snapped.

Tila TeKILLya literally TROLLING around at Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show.

Someone step on this b*tch already…

so this is how you get salmonella.

Here’s Tila TeKILLya shooting a documentary on The World’s Most Unsanitary Locations trolling around a grocery store making the most delicious foods look unappealing.

Nothing different than what 345873579.99 of the girls on Facebook have as their profile pictures, but these are just funnier because Tila is like, 3.5 feet tall.

And she’s apparently having a baby. Which makes it more OFFENSIVE and PATHETIC than funny, but still. Who doesn’t like to watch little people act sexy?

Oh, and Boobs Montag is chocked that this TRICK stole her idea of posing with the sausages in the meat dept.

What a b*tch.

Game. Over.

So in case you’re spending your weekend dry heaving in bed wracking your BRAIN to solve the RIDDLE as to who Tila TeKILLya’s prize winning baby daddy could be, you can now go back to your daily routine.

The pint sized Anime bubblehead went sh*t crazy over Twitter after she revealed to her followers that rapper, The Game was father to her unborn monthly paycheque.

The Game, who wasn’t ready to be RIDICULED by someone who probably used her tampon as a form of birth control, straight up paid a visit to TMZ to clear up the MISUNDERSTANDING.

He told them, in the most gentlemanly way possible, that he wouldn’t hit that chick with Shawne Merriman’s pogo stick if his career depended on it, and as a result the peroxide Troll went batsh*t crazay on him.

Via Twitter of course.

Bi*ch types up a FRENZY with all those exclamation marks  on the keyboard because the only way people would notice her tiny Troll a** is if she walked around with her top off.

Looks like she already got the MEMO.

 

No mama! No!

Tila Tekillya decided to put a halt on the UStream sex shows for a minute yesterday to leave the Troll Hut and cross the bridge over to pimp out her so called PREGNANCY.

Who wants to bet that that PLASTIC baby she’s dragging around is made of the same grade sh*t she they used on her ti**ies?

She phoned up the PAPARAZZI to make sure they got shots of her bending over to wipe off vomit, spit, baby poop…what have you.

Oh wait. Wasn’t the baby a prop?

Man, that Tila will put the urge to use the bathroom on hold for a MONEY shot.

Hey, a famewhore‘s gotta do what a famewhore‘s gotta do…

See the poor doll’s limbs thrown up in helplessness?

She better get used to that LOOK.