ale.ale.jandro.

You know….

She’s not going to Hell for this.

She’s not.

F*ck. I love this chick.

She might get struck down by the good Lord the next time she leaves the house but at least she’ll be dressed for it.

this can’t happen.

Apparently Kimmy K is rumored to be replacing Angelina Jolie in the Tomb Raider franchise….

This is not possible for 2 reasons:

1. Kim does not like streneous exercise. With all the exaggerated movement required how will they be able to find a stunt double with an ass like that? Not happening.

2. Kim gets her nails done on a daily basis. Angelina Jolie probably donated her nails to kids who don’t have any on their fingers at all. Lara Croft eats nails for breakfast. Kim will have nothing of the sort.

Via ShowBizSpy,

“According to Hollywood insiders, the curvy reality TV star is in the middle of negotiations to play video game beauty Lara Croft in a reboot of the film series.

“This will be something very different to Angelina’s Lara,” a source said. “Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.”

Kim, 29, has previously spoken of her desire to break into acting.

“I would love to do more acting,” she said in December last year. “I have so much going on but acting is definitely exciting to me. I’m hoping to do more TV and I would really love to make movies.”

Oh Kim. You’d shoot a commercial for The King of Floors if it got you TV time.

And I love you for it.

yo.side.of.the.bed.

Pshht.

Trey Songz & Keri Hilson.

What do you think you’re trying to do here? Turn people on…?

You’re both hideous. The only videos you should be making are for private use only.

Ugh. These two together do absolutely nothing for me.

Next please.

O.M.Jesus.

thank you for being a friend…

Rue McClanahan passed away today from a stroke. The world has lost another Golden Girl.

Sad.

Via PEOPLE,

“She passed away at 1 a.m. this morning,” her manager, Barbara Lawrence, tells PEOPLE. She had a massive stroke.”
McClanahan, who played Blanche Deveraux on the still-popular ’80s sitcom Golden Girls, had suffered a minor stroke earlier this year while recovering from bypass surgery. Lawrence added that at the time of her death Thursday, McClanahan “had her family with her. She went in peace.”

She’s probably already on the prowl for a young secksay thang to keep her company up there in the Big House while Bea Arthur shakes her head.

Rest In Peace hot stuff.

 

makeup.bag.

Anything that’s backed by The Dream and T.I. makes it worth listening to.

Check  the new VIDEO for “Makeup Bag.”

Huuuuuurd That.

Ha.

 

when midgets mate.

First off, this is NOT a joke.

Second, Snooki still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that she’s THIS close to not being able to find a partner with anyone in the human species.

*rubs eyes*

*opens*

*blinks*

*my eyes! my eyes are still here! Oh thank you God! I was so scared.*

She’s gonna get hit alright. It ain’t gonna be on Twitter though.

hello.goodmorning.

Love this track.

Here’s the new VIDEO for “Hello Good Morning…”

big.booty.b*tches.

Where there ever comes a time that you feel empty inside, or when you feel like life just isn’t cutting it for you anymore…you come across something like THIS.

Something that makes you forget about your sh*tty job, the fact that you’re 10 lbs overweight, and also that you should feel complete and utter embarassment for even watching such a THING.

Behold.

Big. Booty. B*tches.

I woke up this morning tired and grumpy, as if I got no sleep last night.

Did I complain?

No because I took my iPhone to breakfast and watched this sh*t on repeat.

I can now say that I’m a morning person.

 

 

 

 

i’m in love with a stripper…

She windin’ She grindin’ she 17, oh yeahhhh, wait, what…?

Yeah.

Here’s Miley makin papa proud by grinding up on her 44 year old producer. He’s SUPPOSEDLY gay, but gay, straight, disabled, caged animal, it’s all the same to her…

You know, we’re such a judgemental society aren’t we?

I mean for all we know her younger sister, Noah was probably sitting in front of her watching the whole thing because Miley was teaching her how she’s going to have to loosen up a little if she wants to follow in her footsteps…

Oh wait, that’s not a valuable lesson is it…?

Um okay. Maybe she chocked, had a seizure and this shot was taken before he commenced the Heimlich.

Or maybe she just missed her Dad.

F*ck, stop making me think of reasons to stand up for this skank ho.

She just proved all the above false after I found the video:

Other than the fact that she’s a skank ho.

That part was bang on.

Get it?

Bang. On?

Sigh.

 

no jimmy no!

Here’s some chick paralyzing Drake with her pasty ta tas while at a concert last week…

She was probably semi blind herself, because it’s friggin Drake (AKA Jimmy (the wheelchair guy) from Degrassi) , not Brett Michaels.

I mean do it to someone you can half expect to actually bang you afterwards.

Sh*t.